…so here’s a UFC lady eating a taco.
Arianny Celeste in a Bikini - Celeste is an Octagon girl, and that’s the best opening line to a They Might Be Giants song ever. Here are a bunch of pictures of her in a bikini, confirming that no, it is not difficult to get someone who holds things for a living to take off their clothes for money. [Superficial]
The Caps Have Been Swept, and Here’s Why - Sigh. The only good thing about moving out of D.C. is that I get to read about the Caps screwing up instead of sitting there in the Verizon Center watching it. Here’s a solid breakdown of what happened, because mine would just be a string of curse words. [Puck Daddy]
LOLNFL: NFL Draft (Part 2) - Jokes about the Buffalo Bills having to take photos in the parking lot are only some of the reasons why you should check this out. When you’re done there, go back and read part 1. [KSK]
Phillies Season-Ticket Holder Stuck With Goddamn Joe Blanton Game Again - Much like a modern Onion article itself, the funny joke is in the headline, and the paragraph that follows doesn’t really offer anything. See? I’m just typing. Type type type. [The Onion]
Adele Wants to Have Sex With Rhianna - Adele is just going down the heavyset girl stereotype checklist. She smokes, has a pretty face, is great at singing, takes all of her photos from the boobs up, and now she’s telling people about how she’s bisexual. You want to have sex with Kate Winslet? That’s hot! So hey, I was thinking… what’s that? You wouldn’t have sex with any girl we could ever feasibly meet? Aw. Meanwhile, a bulldog is somewhere raping a kitten. [Vibe]
War Dogs! The Ultimate War Dog Gallery! - This gallery features dogs that are at war, and once you’ve looked at the pictures, you won’t have to see any m ore war dogs ever again because this is the ULTIMATE collection of War Dogs! This is way better than my attempt at an Ultimate War Pigs Gallery, which was just one picture of Black Sabbath and one of me playing Guitar Hero. [Uproxx]
20 Breathtaking Glamour Shots - Awkward family photos for people too awkward to have a family. I’m really sad this gallery doesn’t include the one my Dad took when his radio station sent him to Glamour Shots to do publicity photos for his morning show. The one of him holding a prop boulder and crossing his eyes was classic. [Fork Party]
Donald Duck’s Family Tree - We aren’t quite sure where those nephews came from, but I’m guessing it involved Launchpad McQuack and a night of heavy drinking. At least this is better than Goofy’s family tree, with that awkward moment when a human lady had sex with a dog. I’m talking about Goofy’s Mom AND his first wife. I’ve seen that cartoon. [ComicsAlliance]
I want more like this!
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