Congratulations on Having a Working Human Body, Kerry Wood

Shocking news from the Chicago-Sun Times today:

The Chicago Cubs placed right-handed pitcher Kerry Wood on the 15-day disabled list (retroactive to June 9) with a blister on his right index finger and activated infielder Jeff Baker from the 15-day disabled list, the team announced on Monday.

Wood’s Wikipedia page, which describes his career’s one great game as “the most dominant pitching performance in the history of baseball”, also details his injury history. Paraphrased from that page (although it might’ve been changed by someone if you click over too late):

1998 –Kerry’s rookie year. After his awesome game, he misses the last month of the season with an elbow injury.
1999 – Has Tommy John surgery to repair damage to the ulnar collateral ligament in his right elbow and misses the entire season
2000-2003 – Is mostly okay, but the Cubs don’t win the World Series or anything
2004 – Misses two months with strained triceps
2005 – Has season-ending arthroscopic surgery on his right shoulder
2006 – Has knee surgery in Spring Training, partially tears his rotator cuff, and trips over an ottoman while entering a room and falls onto a bed of nails
2007 – Spends Spring until August on the 150-day DL
2008 – Signs $4.2 million deal with the Cubs to sort of keep playing baseball
2009 – Is a Cleveland Indian
2010 – Misses April completely, gets hurt again in July, ends up traded and playing through the offseason for the Yankees
2011 – Gets a blister, goes on the DL again
2012 – Is the direct cause for the end of our world

Although there’s a [citation needed] for most of that. Get well soon, Kerry, then immediately get well soon again.

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