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The Dugout: Brian Wilson Thinks Sounding Mexican is a Catchphrase

By / 06.29.11

Brian Wilson beard website!!!

Hey everybody, there’s a party in Brian Wilson’s beard and you’re invited! To continue, please click anywhere on Brian’s beard and watch a short video that asks, “do you realize ninjas?”

When you’re done there, turn your television over to Showtime, where “The Franchise” follows the San Francisco Giants in the 2010-2011 offseason as they come to terms with winning baseball’s richest prize and having to listen to this guy talk for more than a minute and a half.

Unable to handle my reaction to Brian Wilson’s comedy, I stranged myself to death and sold this Dugout as ad space for the upcoming “Franchise” season. Today’s Dugout follows, but I’m not responsible for any of it.



The Dugout

  **Online Host**
Welcome to the Shows About Drug Addicts or Buttf**king Gladiators Chatroom!
 
SMiLE: we can talk about this new term, this new "battle cry" that’s uh gonna be worldwide, it’s called "got heem"
 

SMiLE: "got him", like how regular people speak but mexican, "got heem", and it’s funny because i don’t talk like that, do you need me to explain it to you more

totally not stereotyping because some of my best friends are stereotypes, isn’t that right

MichaelTehader: que
SMiLE: see
 
SMiLE: it’s sorta like when you’re talking some fun trash
SMiLE: and you say SOARRY, but papa’s feeling pretty delicious right now, gonna step into the BOWX, go 3-for-4, 8 RBIs… got heem.
TimTheEnchanter: why didn’t you go 4-for-4
SMiLE: what
TimTheEnchanter: you could’ve gotten more of heem if you had gone 4-for-4, if you’re saying you drove in 8 RBI you might as well say you did it on 4 hits instead of 3
SMiLE: you can’t get more or less of heem, you either get heem or you don’t, and in this hypothetical situation where I’m a viking and Chuck Norris of Cirque de Soleil is pitching for the Space Padres I GOT HEEM
TimTheEnchanter: lol how much of this weed did you snort

SMiLE: all of it

in the world

SMiLE: or it’s like a 3-1 pitch, pipin’ it down the middle, swing and a miss GOT HEEEEEEM
TimTheEnchanter: you’re our closer, why did you throw this dude three balls
SMiLE: i got heem, didn’t i
TimTheEnchanter: yeah but still
SMiLE: okay well then it’s like when you’re talking trash, and you’re all "hey tim lincecum you’re a handsome young man," but then it’s all SIKE you look like those girls in the tie-dye shirts from my 10th grade art class
SMiLE: GOT HEEM
TimTheEnchanter: motherf**ker
 
TimTheEnchanter: so what, 9th inning up by a run, you walk the bases loaded but then you get a guy to pop out on the 10th pitch, got heem?

SMiLE: FRIGGIN yeah got heem

got heem so hard

IFontenotWhatYoureThinking: lol hey guys what’s up whatcha talkin bout
TimTheEnchanter: nothing fontenot go back inside
SMiLE: talkin’ bout GOT HEEM, feelin like the dick clark of the english language ushering in a brand new year of knowledge on the american bandstand of life
SMiLE: formin’ a soul train line of pirates and ninjas and chucks norris, all sounding like a mexican and grabbin their junks and screamin’ GOT HEEEEEM

IFontenotWhatYoureThinking: got him, like hwen i strike out GOT HIM!!! lol

pulled half my groin GOT ME

TimTheEnchanter: /snorts weed
SMiLE: AUGH GOD DERNIT IT’S SUCH A SCRUMPTIOUS PHRASE
  **Online Host**
MikeQuade180Pounds has entered the chatroom.
MikeQuade180Pounds: urr scuse me fellas, sorry to interrupt the chatter but we’ve been waiting for ’bout a half an hour on this pitching change, could we uh
SMiLE: It’s like when Mike Quade shows up and it’s like, any of y’all seen the Total Recall
MikeQuade180Pounds: i really shouldn’t be in here
IFontenotWhatYoureThinking: like when scot cousins slide into buster posey break his legs cut off his carotted artery GOT HIM lol
SMiLE: no make it sound more mexican
IFontenotWhatYoureThinking: goat heem!!

SMiLE: /pulls switchblade

the f**k did you say about buster posey

IFontenotWhatYoureThinking: ARHHHHH /pulls other half of groin
MikeQuade180Pounds: um we’re spost to play four games today, any way we could, oh
TimTheEnchanter: /gestures vaguely at Miguel Tejada

MichaelTehader: /lies down on top step of dugout

/rolls slowly into game

MichaelTehader: /hits home run, Cubs lose again
  **Online Host**
The Cubs have lost again.

MikeQuade180Pounds: what the

I thought WE were up to bat!

MikeQuade180Pounds: oh i’ll never understand this baseball thing :(
 
SMiLE: everything in real life is adult swim now, congratulations america, your welcome
 
Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com


TAGSBASEBALBRIAN WILSONCHICAGO CUBSMIGUEL TEJADAMIKE FONTENOTMIKE QUADEMLBSAN FRANCISCO GIANTSSHOWTIMETHE DUGOUTTIM LINCECUM

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