Atlanta Falcons’ Kicker has Golf Clubs Stolen by his Chinese Food Delivery Guy - Poor kicker. The defining moment of your position’s history is Charlie Brown failing. Also, you deserve it if you let your delivery man anywhere past your front door. [Brobible]
UFC Champ on Steven Seagal: ‘I don’t know how he got my number.’ - Seagal googling Jon Jones until he finds his personal information is hilarious. Almost as funny as the 200 guys who just run at Seagal and get destroyed by him barely moving his hands. You suck, Steven Seagal. [Film Drunk]
The 15 Best Nintendo 64 Titles Of All Time - Now here’s a list I can get behind. Blast Corps or it didn’t happen. [Smoking Section]
Video: Paul Rudd & Anne Hathaway Audition for ‘Jersey Shore’ - I think Rudd and Hathaway are in a competition to see which likeable person I’m tired of the most. So far I think Paul Rudd is winning. [Warming Glow]
Twitter Masses Angered That A Fake News Organization Tweeted About A Fake Hostage Crisis - The problem isn’t believing news reported by The Onion, it’s that The Onion should be way, way funnier. “Barack Obama died in a car crash, jk it’s satire.” [UPROXX]
Community’s Doctor Who Spoof “Inspector Spacetime” Makes An Awesome Meme - Forget Inspector Spacetime, somebody turn Asian Annie into a meme. Fantasy threesome: me, Annie, Other Annie. [Gamma Squad]
Maroon 5 Feat. Christina Aguilera & Mac Miller – “Moves Like Jagger (Remix)” - Did Mick Jagger win some kind of contest where every pop singer has to mention him in a song? Is it because his name rhymes with “swagger” and people are bad at rhyming, but HAVE to use the word swagger? [Smoking Section]
10 Manliest Men in Entertainment - Way to eschew traditional gender roles, Buzzfeed! [Buzzfeed]
No One Sinks Rihanna’s Battleship and 7 Other Things Learned on the Set of ‘Battleship’ - Lesson one: Do not make a movie about Battleship. [Moviefone]
‘Parks & Recreation': 5 Things to Know About ‘Ron and Tammys’ - Hump day. Am I right, buddy? [AOL TV]
Attack of the Show Interview with Idris Elba - Kevin Pereira, is you taking notes on a criminal f**king conspiracy? I want your jobs, Attack Of The Show. I AM GOING TO TAKE YOUR JOBS. [G4TV]
Adult Swim’s Time to Waste with Harry Shearer - Also wasted time with Harry Shearer: the last 15 seasons of “The Simpsons”. [Adult Swim]
Punk Isn’t Dead PSA with Henry Rollins - Somebody needs to remake Lost In Translation with Henry Rollins and have him just sit around Tokyo yammering on about politics and sociopolitical norms and everyone around him is just constantly going ughhhhh and walking away. [The Daily What]
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