26) Oakland Raiders (4-2) – Let me get this straight, the Raiders now have an actual, honest-to-dog quarterback to go along with their incredible running back tandem and some very talented young receivers? And they waited until after Al Davis died to do this? Dick move.
(As for the trade, I do think 2 first rounders for Palmer is WAY WAY WAY too much, seeing as he has spent his offseason tailgating at USC games, but if you’re a Raiders fan and your team is 4-2 and just lost its mediocre QB for the season, you have to push the immediate rage aside and try to get excited about this.)
27) San Diego Chargers (4-1) – My buddy and I spent a good hour last week discussing what it is about Philip Rivers that makes us hate him so much. We don’t even know. We just do.
28) Baltimore Ravens (4-1) – How does this defense manage to keep getting better and better when the average age is like 72?
29) New England Patriots (5-1) – Does anyone else feel like this whole Chad Ochocinco drama is just a smoke screen, and that once defenses completely lock down on Wes Welker, Tom Brady is going to start lighting No. 85 up? No? OK, good.
30) Detroit Lions (5-1) – It sounds strange, but the Lions needed to lose. The classic team of destiny mold only works for fan bases that don’t get too full of themselves. I’m not saying that’s how Lions fans were behaving, but I want them to win with class and dignity. I want this team to be great, like the 2009 Saints. We don’t need people acting like douchebags over it. Speaking of…
31) San Francisco 49ers (5-1) – And the early frontrunner for the dumbest moment of the season that people can’t stop talking about is the postgame handshake between Lions coach Jim Schwartz and 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh. Look, I love the fact that we’ve got some fiery young coaching blood in the NFL, and I’m all for building some new rivalries, but this was just two boys measuring their rods. I bet Todd Haley was watching in the clubhouse and just boiling over from jealousy.
32) Green Bay Packers (6-0) – I’m not one to normally criticize perfection, since this Packers passing attack is simply marvelous. But could we possibly get Jermichael Finley back into the mix? Thannnnnnks.