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** Online Host **
Welcome to the Routine Traffic Stop Outside Of A The Cheesecake Factory Chatroom!
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LadyCop: /taps on window |
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ElectricShafer: uhhhhhhhh /rolls down window |
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LadyCop: jesus, son, it smells like Tim Lincecum’s asshole in your car, did you piss in a bong on your way over here
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ElectricShafer: naw mam |
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LadyCop: I see you’re wearing a baseball cap. You play for the Braves? |
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ElectricShafer: naw mam naw I do not at i just bought this hat because it match my shirt |
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LadyCop: okay, good, because I don’t have great luck with baseball players |
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ElectricShafer: i play for the houston astros |
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LadyCop: What is that |
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ElectricShafer: the uh, it’s a baseball team |
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LadyCop: lol yeah right, what kinda seventies ass baseball squad named after damn outer space
licence and registr-
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LadyCop: /glares |
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ElectricShafer: /smokes dope |
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LadyCop: you know I can see you, right |
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ElectricShafer: aw shiit i forgot how eyes work /hastily tries to put it out by sucking cold end as hard as possible |
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LadyCop: ugh, give it to me /takes marijuana cigarette
now, license and-
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ElectricShafer: /eyes peanut butter cups in passengers seat |
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LadyCop: i swear to the god I will pull out my night stick and cop your ass half to death through this window if you move |
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ElectricShafer: ok sorry mam i just need to eat some snacks to relax |
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ElectricShafer: glahhhhh /eats peanut butter cups |
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LadyCop: they had weed in them, didn’t they |
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ElectricShafer: i’m sorry officer i admit it, i am a doer of dope, i do dope |
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ElectricShafer: i do it all the time, its so good |
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LadyCop: I’ve heard of weed brownies, but weed peanut butter cups? Aren’t you getting like, weirdly specific? |
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ElectricShafer: i got a plastic bag full of sh*t i made with dope in the back of the rover, look, dope peanut butter cups, dope pb+j, coconut cake with extra dope |
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ElectricShafer: i like to go to jamba juice an order a 16 strawberry whirl and take it home, dump out all the strawberry whirl, fill the cup with dope and then eat the cup |
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ElectricShafer: in fact i credit dope cup as one of the only reasons i’m still here living today, you know |
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ElectricShafer: because "bullies" |
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LadyCop: yeah I’ve shot you like three times already and you haven’t noticed |
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LadyCop: You been drinking tonight? |
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ElectricShafer: yes mam but only one beer |
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LadyCop: how big was the one beer |
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ElectricShafer: normal size but i emptied ilke six pixie stix in it injected the can with hgh, rubbed the outside with the clear an then shook that shti up |
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LadyCop: let me guess, you got a funny name for that |
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ElectricShafer: no but it is extremely hard to hold an now my brain is bloody |
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LadyCop: ok, well, you admitted to drug use and possession but since you’re a white male all I can do is say "stop it" once, in a quiet voice |
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LadyCop: stop it |
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ElectricShafer: still pretty loud, honestly |
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LadyCop: what are you doing with your life exactly though, I gotta ask |
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ElectricShafer: i’m in the midst of a josh hamilton thing, where i do a bunch of drugs an f**k up my baseball career an then |
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ElectricShafer: an then i don’t remember, but i do it |
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ElectricShafer: /beer bongs an entire big thing of dope |
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LadyCop: oh man if you were black right now |
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LadyCop: Anyway, you’re free to go, have fun playing for the Houston Astros. |
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ElectricShafer: uhhh on second thought could you take me to jail |
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