“Suck For Luck” Power Rankings: Week 8

By: 11.01.11

Maybe don't bring in a 34-year old WR who has been called a locker room cancer.

21) Oakland Raiders (4-3) – The Raiders are possibly bringing in T.J. Houshmanzadeh to make Carson Palmer feel more at home. Then they’ll bring in Terrell Owens to make him want to go home.

22) New Orleans Saints (5-3) – I’ve maintained all season that the Rams were better than they were playing and they’d eventually get it together (albeit too late to make it matter). That doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be 0-7 right now.

23) Houston Texans (5-3) – Two in a row for the Texans! Too bad they still don’t have much of a lead over the Titans. I get a sneaking suspicion that the AFC South is going to come down to Week 17’s matchup between Houston and Tennessee, when Houston should have this division locked up by Week 10.

24) Baltimore Ravens (5-2) – I don’t ever like to make bold predictions this early in the season, but what the hell? If Baltimore loses to Pittsburgh on Sunday, forget the division – the Ravens won’t make the playoffs.

25) New England Patriots (5-2) – Wide receiver/punt returner/Strokes cover band lead singer Julian Edelman was arrested this morning for indecent assault at a Boston nightclub. Looks like Rob Gronkowski needs to show the little fella a few pointers.

26) Cincinnati Bengals (5-2) – I picture Marvin Lewis like he’s perpetually in a boner pill commercial. Constantly smiling, soaking in a bathtub on the beach, holding his lover’s hand as they step over Terrell Owens’ unresponsive body, riding a tandem bike with Andy Dalton. Life is good for Marv.

27) New York Giants (5-2) – I’d say that the Giants have to be concerned with the Eagles catching them in the NFC East right now, but they have to be more concerned with even allowing the Miami Dolphins to sniff victory on Sunday. If the Giants can’t stop Reggie Bush they will be torched by LeSean McCoy when it matters.

28) Buffalo Bills (5-2) – If you put a gun to my head right now and told me to pick the AFC East champion, I’m picking the Bills. I want whatever human embryo smoothie that Fred Jackson is drinking.

29) Pittsburgh Steelers (6-2) – It’s amazing how well Ben Roethlisberger plays when he’s not throwing from a stretcher. And yes, Pittsburgh’s defense is getting older, but that young offense is pretty scary.

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