“Suck For Luck” Power Rankings: Week 9

By: 11.08.11

It's a bad year for dudes named Peyton.

9) Cleveland Browns (3-5) – Who farted in Peyton Hillis’ Cheerios this season? All the guy had to do was show up, play hard and produce like he did last season and he would have received a fair offer. Otherwise he could have walked and signed with another team. It’s not a difficult idea. Instead, he became this hissy fit diva. Enjoy your career as a backup, bud.

10) Denver Broncos (3-5) – So now that Tim Tebow is 2-1 as a starter, the rest of pro sports’ biggest athletes are kissing his ass. LeBron James and Dwight Howard Tweeted at him that they’ll play with him in Denver if the NBA lockout continues. I assume Carmelo Anthony still said no.

11) Washington Redskins (3-5) – If you thought this year’s QB controversy between Rex Grossman and John Beck was fun, wait until you see next year’s battle between Chad Henne and Kyle Orton!

12) Philadelphia Eagles (3-5) – Not only was Mike Vick named the most hated player in the NFL in some worthless poll last week, but he was also dealing with a woman’s claims that she was going to sell full frontal nude pics of the Eagles QB to tabloids. Why do women think this scares black men? Also, this guy rules:

13) Tennessee Titans (4-4) – Even by saying they’d be interested in signing Terrell Owens, the Titans have rubbed his stink all over themselves and cursed their chances of winning. They might as well sign him now so they can blame him.

14) Kansas City Chiefs (4-4) – I can’t imagine that Todd Haley didn’t see this weekend’s game against the Dolphins as a total trap game, but it sure seemed like the Chiefs were just asleep. The whole thing was just hard to watch.

15) Oakland Raiders (4-4) – How does Darrius Heyward-Bey have 385 receiving yards in four games during October and not factor into the gameplan in a big divisional matchup? I don’t even care what the Raiders do, but it’s maddening watching them blow these opportunities.

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