Last week, as the myth of the 2013 NCAA Tournament Cinderella grew beyond their redneckian beach town of Ft. Myers, the No. 15 seed Florida Gulf Coast Eagles were gifted with their new nickname, Dunk City, and their very own rap anthem. And while I’d thought that I would never, not in a million academic school years, hear anything as wonderful at Chet Haze’s “White and Purple” anthem for Northwestern football, FGCU MC Black Magic showed up and made Chet look like Colin Hanks.
Set to the beat of Tyga’s “Rack City”, Black Magic and his female counterpart, Bambi, delivered a “Dunk City” rap song that racked up around a half million views in less than a week. But apparently it was missing something, because Mr. Magic and Bambi are back today with “Dunk City 2” and this time they brought Eagles star and one-time bench scrub Sherwood Brown with them.
They also brought a bunch of students and some new rhymes, so I thought we could break down the finer points of “Dunk City 2” today.
0:19 – The dude in the pink shorts arrives. Every time he’s in the background, nothing else matters to me in this world.
0:28 – The girl in the tank top looks like someone woke her up in her dorm room after a late night and she was like, “Seriously?”
0:39 – Brown and Eagles forward Filip Cveticanin look very excited to be there. More importantly, I hope Filip has a cool nickname, because I don’t like writing his last name. If he doesn’t, might I suggest The Human Caninball?
1:00 – Top hat. Red batting gloves. Jean vest. If a little red-headed kid is behind him wearing the same outfit, I may FREAK OUT.
1:02 – What’s up with the awkward break? They did it in the first video, too. Inside jokes aren’t cool, guys.
1:07 – Oh sh*t, they’re at a wedding!
1:19 – I’ve watched this video three times and I laugh so hard at this point. It’s like a bad Greek Week sketch.
1:30 – Oh good, tank top woke up.
1:42 – I don’t mean to sound like a “hater”, but I’m happy that Bambi chose not to go with the Nicki Minaj/Cher Lloyd routine again for Dunk City 2 like she did in the first version. Nobody should do that, not even Nicki Minaj or Cher Lloyd.
1:45 – I think the guy in the red shirt is Danger Guerrero.
2:02 – Sweet socks, Fedora Joe.
2:15 – Please stop singing.
2:37 – We now pause for a serious-faced painted white guy moment.
2:53 – “We’re gonna see Duke in the Final Four.” No you’re not. You could face Duke in the National Championship Game, but pending a victory over Florida tomorrow night, and then a win against Kansas/Michigan, the Eagles would face Indiana/Syracuse/Marquette/Miami in the Final Four. Look, I’m not trying to be a dick, but I like my college basketball rap anthems to be accurate, Black Magic.
Otherwise, go Eagles.