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Scientific Report: Boston Bruins Fans Eased Their Loss With Tons And Tons Of Porn

By / 06.26.13

(via Getty Image)


If you’re like me (a Washington Capitals fan) you have so much time to watch porn. The second Alex Ovechkin gives up and starts skating around like somebody switched to another player in NHL 94, I’m 40 seconds into an Allie Sin video. She never seems to enjoy herself. Neither do I. It all goes together nicely.

But hey, if your team is doing WELL, you don’t have time for Captain Stabbin or that creepy Hispanic guy with the dong the size of my forearm from the Bang Bros or whoever else Allie Sin is hanging out with today. The cops, maybe. Bruins and Blackhawks fans were rightfully occupied, but thanks to the scientific geniuses at Pornhub, Boston fans fell into the waiting arms of BBWs and MFFs and CFNM or whatever as soon as the series was done.

Don’t believe them? HERE, HAVE A GRAPH:

BNpurPxCMAAeA3Q.jpg_large

The press release, because of course there’s a press release:

Last night marked the end of the NHL Championships, and much like the NBA Finals did, the battle for the Cup managed to take users away from their beloved porn once more. Until, of course the end of the game marking the Bruins’ loss, which saw all of Boston turning to Pornhub to take out some of that pent up aggression.

That’s right — the statisticians at Pornhub.com carefully analyzed each hour of the game to track traffic changes in Chicago, Boston, and across the US by the hour; comparing each location relative to the rest of the country.

Idea for next season: meet Allie Sin and convince her to sit around and watch Caps games with me. Report my findings.

[h/t and graph via CBS Eye On Hockey]


TAGSALLIE SINBOSTON BRUINSCHICAGO BLACKHAWKSHOCKEYNHLPORNPORNHUBStanley Cup Finals

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