The Best And Worst Of Impact Wrestling 7/12/13: Where The Surf Is High And The Seagulls Cry

By: 07.12.13  •  45 Comments

Best: Joseph Park, because of course he is

In case you missed it last week, Joseph Park was at the Basebrawl show in Brooklyn being goddamn stupendous.

In lieu of all the happy words I could have typed about him last week, please accept this interview because he’s so good he makes me want to lie down on the floor like that time he retweeted me and maybe possibly knows that I love him like little fishies love water.

The match itself is…meeeeeaahhhhh…but there are great little moments. The submission AJ Styles throws onto Park’s partner, Hardy, looks super rad and about a million times better than anything else he does. Joseph Park’s hesitance to try to break it up because it’s against the rules for him to be in there, and then apologetically explaining to Baby Hebner why he did it? Guys. Come on. I know we all like different things, but if you’re not a Joseph Park fan, you are missing out completely and should seriously consider joining us. Plus #ParkMark rhymes. Who doesn’t like stuff that rhymes?

Special shout out to Best Dude™ Brian for both looking this genuinely happy in his picture with Joe Park, and making sure that a Park, Park, and Park rally towel will soon be in my possession. Best Dude™.

Best: AJ Styles Theme Song

James Storm_Aces_and_Eights_Mashup(No Pine Sadness Remix).mp3 is way, way better than it has any right to be, so let’s take a moment to appreciate it while we pretend we’re not all totally making fun of AJ Styles’ Chuck-Taylor-with-a-frustratingly-low-flow-showerhead hair style.

Worst: Recipe for Disaster

Let’s see…Jay Bradley, Hernandez, Mr. Anderson, and Magnus. Wow. For a better explanation of this match, please consult the following video:

Just like this match, I can’t get ten seconds into that video without feeling physically ill.

Best: Bobby Roode

It’s amazing how much Bobby Roode has gotten me wholeheartedly behind him. I was entirely convinced that separating him from James Storm and letting him stand on his own would see him flounder in a sea of mediocrity, but week in and week out he just seems to be getting better and better. It’s amazing how far even a little bit of personality will take you. *cough Magnus cough cough*

Best: I don’t like you, and you don’t like me…

But I like what you did here! Sometimes (SOMETIMES GODDAMNIT TNA, SOMETIMES) a little bit of predictability is alright. Of course they’re the only four left, and of course two feuding tag teams are going to be split up and paired with their nemeses. And it’s so great. Tag team partners wrestling each other is wonderful, if only for the fact that they know each other so well, they have to demonstrate a level of creativity in countering someone they’re so familiar with. Kaz and Daniels have a legitimate friendship you can get behind (because again, friendship-based wrestling is the best wrestling), but Aries and Roode have made it clear that even if they get along, they’re united by their desire to be better than everyone else, and if push comes to shove either one of them would beat the tar out of the other to be the super mega best. Despite their differences, Aries and Roode have a great dynamic whether they’re on the same side or not. There are so many interesting, fun things to tap into, and all four of these guys play so well off of each other, if not for the upcoming ladder match this would be the best match of the show, hands down.

Best: That finish

Kaz pinning Daniels? You are dirty heels.

Best: Eights rule, Tazzes drool

Tazz has to leave the commentation station to join the Aces & Eights vote for the new VP. I may not like him, but thank god they’re finally including him in something, and treating him as a functional member of Aces & Eights.

I do, however, like to think that Brischoff had to scramble to take down the sign on the door that said NO TAZZƎS ALLOWED.

Worst: Brooke Hogan Knows Best

Oh lord, we’re really following through with this engagement thing, huh. *preps baby otter videos for future use*

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