Sad news today for the huge percentage of With Leather readers who are female fans masturbating to the NBA's male dance squads: Philadelphia's Broad Street Beefcakes have gotten a collective pink slip.
Destroying the tawdry fantasies of local women, and men, too, the Sixers have dismantled the Broad Street Beefcakes, a group of male dancers… Sixers spokesman Michael Preston says the team's "moving in a new direction," and will "implement several new elements" to in-house entertainment.
Now when I read the word "beefcake," I assumed the Sixers had a bunch of hunky guys with amazing dance moves like me, and I felt real empathy for the plight of the Beefcakes. It's not easy for men to get by on raw sex appeal and dance moves these days. But then I read a previous audition announcement for the team…
- Must be 250+ pounds over the age of 21 years.
- Must submit a full body shot (wide lenses highly recommended)
- No previous dance training.
…and I realized the whole concept of the team was just fat people dancing poorly. Which means it was the stupidest fuckin' idea in the world to begin with. If I wanted to pay to see fat people jiggle I'd buy a plane ticket back to the Midwest. The only job fat people should have is running on treadmills to power our electrical grids.