“Ladies and gentlemen, please refrain from shooting lasers onto the field. Thank you.”
Those are the words of college football referee Daniel Gautreaux on Friday night, as the stone-faced official addressed the assembled masses during a game between Baylor and Rice. Apparently, the game was not interesting enough, after a scoreless opening quarter, to capture the attention of the fan base in Houston, and people decided to point lasers toward the field.
Gautreaux did not take kindly to this action in the second quarter, and his words immediately become immortalized on the internet for all to see. The Bears amassed more than 600 yards of total offense in the game, leaving Rice fans jittery with boredom, and this was the fantastic result. It seems safe to assume that Gautreaux will not be garnering this level of attention again for his work during the 2016 season, unless of course he succumbs to some sort of rules-related disaster.
For now, let us pause to remember the phenomenal way in which the intrepid referee delivered this wildly important message with dignity and frankness. It isn’t every day that college football fans are treated to this level of splendor with a referee addressing the crowd with something other than a penalty call. Enjoy it.