Last Thursday, I went bowling for the first time in about a year. This is some slice-of-life stuff, so stay with me. I did everything I stay out of the gutters, and was always about two seconds away from being that guy in a slapstick comedy who ends up sliding down the lane on his belly with his hands stuck in the ball. It was horrible. Just an absolute crime against humanity.
To make me feel especially bad about my performance, here’s a clip of a guy not only bowling a strike, but doing so FROM THE DOORWAY OF THE BOWLING ALLEY. It’s the equivalent of two full lanes, and also he’s standing in the goddamn foyer.
“Bowling a strike from as far away as possible” should be the new basketball trick shot. I’m tired of watching frat guys hurl a ball from the top of the Statue of Liberty or whatever and go WOOOOOOO while running around in circles with their hands in the air. I want to see somebody expertly bowl from halfway across town.