We Have A New Candidate For Worst First Pitch Ever And It’s God-Awful

By: 08.27.14  •  29 Comments


Remember that time the Astros invited you to throw a first pitch? And remember when you looked cute as a button in your white shorts and Astros shirt? And remember when you thought the baseball was a football and you spiked it into the ground? Remember that Delores? Remember when everyone laughed at you? Remember when the mascot had to come out and console you?

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MLB

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MLB

It can’t get any worse than that, right? The ball was headed towards first base, like it was a bunt. I ask this sincerely, has ‘Delores’ ever touched a baseball before? Like, because, if she was a baseball throwing virgin I might give her a pass here. I mean, I don’t really want to but I’m feeling a bit sympathetic today.

(I lied. I award her no points and may God have mercy on her soul.)

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