Hello Impacters! I hear that basketball thing was pretty popular last night, so chances are most of you didn’t get to see the show. Luckily there’s an entire report waiting to breaking the very best and very worst of what you didn’t get to see. Personally, everything I know about basketball comes from this video. He needs those baskets back, guys. A few things!
– On Tuesday, July 25th I’ll be a guest judge at the Toronto leg of the Air Sex World Championships. If you’re in the area, stop by, say hello, and marvel at the international sensation that is Chris Trew’s beard. For more information on the show, how to participate, and how to donate towards the making of the documentary, click here. I’ll be the one in some kind of Chikara shirt not pretending to fellate an air boner.
– Have you read this week’s Best and Worst of NXT yet? You probably should. There’s good wrestling on television, Brandon writes it, and William Regal is usually there. It’s kind of a no-brainer.
– Also a thing you should do: follow me on Twitter! You can do that here. For people who know more about basketball and can make more topical jokes than myself, follow With Leather here. Follow UPROXX here, because hey, there’s something for everyone. Even people who like basketball.
This week on Impact: Joseph Park appears twice, AJ Styles broods a bunch, and the Main Event Mafia gets a second member and it’s exactly who you think it is. Some kind of Canadian joke after the jump!
Best: THAT guy
I was totally set to give Godfather Sting walking down the entrance ramp a worst, presumably because he got confused and lost and just followed a bus with Jeff Hardy’s face on it until he found an entrance, but that guy who yelled “STIIINGEEERRRRR!!”? Thanks for being close to a mic, and letting us open with a mini-Best.
Best: Joseph Park, because of course he isSubscribe to UPROXX
Look at him, standing in the ring with all of those other Impact Wrestlers, up on his hind legs like a little Rory Calhoun. He’s brilliant. He’s the Antonio Cesaro of Character Workrate. He looks nervous. He’s sweating like he’s about to cut a promo. He’s into every single thing anyone else is saying. He waved at Bobby Roode when he came to the ring. He waved. Guys. Guys. I know I don’t have to tell you about my everlasting affection for Joseph Park, but he’s precious and he’s perfect and he makes my heart soar.
Best: Christopher Daniels
I know I’ve been kind of sour on Bad Influence lately, but there’s something about how Daniels refers to Jeff Hardy as “Jefferson” that tickles my fancy. It is the opposite of how I feel when I actually look at Jeff Hardy:
That is totally the face of a dude who has never made poor life decisions ever.
Best: ACES & GARBAGE
Best: Joseph Park, Impact Wrestler
I backed it up twice just to see those baby slaps on Mr. Anderson’s head again. And that Boston Crab! My heart! Precious and perfect and DOC WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU GET AWAY FROM HIM
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I mean, you’re just doing your job and all, but your job is kicking Joseph Park and making him lose, so BOO TO YOU, SIR. You truly put the garbage in Aces & Eights.