Move over Lobster Dog and Toonces the Driving Cat, There’s a new With Leather hero in town and he goes by the moniker ‘Deep Sea Dog’. Yes, a Russian pet-owner has decided that it’s time a canine explores the glorious depths of the Pacific ocean and is sending his pioneer dachshund Boniface out in a scuba suit and a box on his head because he probably had trouble finding a diving partner and a dog has no opinion in the matter.
Owner Sergei Gorbunov, a professional diver in the Pacific Coast city of Vladivostok had a diving suit complete with helmet made for the dog and is teaching him the tricks of the trade.
In a recent demonstration, Boniface barked eagerly as Gorbunov readied the equipment and uncomplainingly endured being hung upside-down as Gorbunov fitted the suit on him. Once underwater, he seemed to have a different outlook, emitting some high-pitched whines.
Gobunov says, “Underwater, I don’t think he experiences any stress.” -Yahoo!
The dog isn’t experiencing any stress?! You can’t say that if you don’t have any definitive proof, man. Underwater he probably has a NEW WORLD of terror, like, “Is my owner ever going to take this suit off? How am I supposed to scratch my balls!?”, “I CAN’T BITE FISH MY MOUTH IS USELESS,” and most notably, “You know, it wouldn’t be hard AT ALL for a shark to eat me right now.” The only reason I’d have my dog scuba dive is if I wanted to get rid of him, because once a large meat eating ocean beast sees a dog paddling along underwater he is not going to let him pass on by unscathed. That’s the epitome of handing a hobo a hoagie right there.
Here is a video of a swimming dog. Notice the eyes. They’re wide as a button. That’s fear, my friends.