Fuel’s Ultimate Answers segment (which I’ll pretend is entirely written and organized by Brittney Palmer) asked a bunch of UFC fighters which superhero they would be. Some of the answers are surprisingly nerdy — Rashad Evans earns endless cool points from me for wanting to be Nightcrawler, and Demetrious Johnson has a pretty solid understanding of how the Green Lantern’s ring works — but some are just straight-up meathead terrible, like Donald Cerrone saying he wants to be “The Invisible Man” (direct quote: “OM BE VISIBLE MAN”).
The funniest offense is from
Brodus Clay Tito ORTIZ, who says he wants to be “Beastman” from the X-Men because of his intelligence. As YouTube user Kevin Hall points out, “he’s actually called Beast, so there goes your intelligence.” I like to think that Tito got the name right and instead got the TEAM wrong, and really just wants to be Beastman from ‘He-Man and the Masters of the Universe’. “I wanna be a big orange guy who looks kinda scary, but sucks and never accomplishes anything, and is less effective a henchman than the guy with a robot mouth and a mer-man in a breastplate!” Jenna Jameson could be either of those two.
Oh, and before I forget, f**k BJ Penn for wanting to be Superman because he’s “better than all the other superheroes”. If I get to pick, I’m being Captain Marvel, so I can kick BJ Penn’s ass.
[h/t to Jessica @ Leg Kick TKO]