The New York Knicks did us all a favor this season by signing Rasheed Wallace, because we should always have his crazy ass involved in the NBA forever and ever until the world ends. Interestingly enough, the apocalypse will be David Stern’s fault, but that’s not related to today’s news. Namely, that Wallace’s season is over.
The Knicks are optimistic that Wallace, who is now out 8 weeks after foot surgery, could play in the playoffs, but let’s be realistic. That would require the Knicks to make it past the first round or at least win more than zero games.
So to show our respect for ‘Sheed, along with whatever sports crap is on TV tonight, here is a woman’s step-by-step process of making a Rasheed Wallace cross stich.
NBA: Warriors at Knicks – 8 PM ET on ESPN
Hey Warriors, if you’re going to be all big and tough and pick fights with your opponents, can one of you sissy slap boxers at least take a f*cking swing at Tyler Hansbrough? I mean, Jesus. Stephen Curry’s being tossed around like a rag doll, but not one of you lazy overachievers can take two seconds to throw a quick jab at Hansbrough’s doofy face? That’s pathetic. Good luck being bounced in the first round.
NHL: Capitals at Flyers – 7:30 PM ET on NBC Sports
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, this should be a good game? Analysis!
WWE Main Event – 8 PM ET on ION
Tonight, john Cena yells something and half of the people in attendance clap, while the rest roll their eyes and get popcorn.
NCAA Basketball: Georgetown at UConn – 7 PM ET on ESPN 2
NCAA Basketball: Oklahoma State at TCU – 7 PM ET on ESPN U
Hopefully this game is sleeve-free. It should be. This is still America, isn’t it?