Watch The World’s Most Hilarious School Yard Dance Off, Which Is Totally Sports

Associate Editor
03.06.16

In a way, everything is sports. Everything that occurs over the course of a day can be viewed as a competition in one way or another in which one thing comes out victorious. Do you want to get a work email sent out as quickly as possible? That is a battle between you and time, making it sports. Do you want to playย “Wonderwall” on an acoustic guitar? That’s a battle between you and Noel Gallagher in 1995, making it sports. If it can be turned into a competition, it can be viewed as sports. Ergo, everything is sports.

This video is a good example of how quickly things can become sports. At first, it’s innocent โ€“ it’s this little dude dancing like he’s Cam Newton after Cam scored against the Titans. It’s actually pretty great and if the video ended right there we’d love it a lot.

But then this child in a red shirt inadvertently decided that he wanted to turn this into a dancing competition and, therefore, make this video sports. I have seen this dance like a million times in my life and I’ve even done it at variousย middle school dances that I attended when I was younger, but I have no idea what it’s called. I do know, though, that no person has ever done this dance with the enthusiasm that this kid did, meaning that he has out-danced everyone who has ever attempted this dance.

He also arguably out-danced the original kid (depending on how much you value silliness), so on several levels, there is competition in this video. These competitions were won by the same child, meaning in this video, the child succeeded in sportsing. Here are other ways in which this video is sports:

  • There’s a basketball in it.
  • There is dancing in it, and athletes dance after they do good things, meaning that this kid is basically an athlete.
  • The first kid gets served. People serve in tennis. Tennis is a sports. By the transitive property, this is sports for that reason.
  • This is kind of like that episode ofย South Park where there was a dance competition between the South Park kids and the kids from Orange County except there are no horrible stage light accidents. That was a competition with a clear winner and so is this (kinda).

Sports.

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