What If This Year’s World Series Mirrored The Events Of ‘A League Of Their Own’?

10.26.17 2 months ago 4 Comments

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A League Of Their Own isn’t just the best baseball movie — it’s the best sports movie ever made. But could the fictional story of the first season of the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League ever happen in Major League Baseball? If so, it would probably go like this.

Before Game 1 of the 2017 World Series — a historic matchup between the league’s two best teams, the Los Angeles Dodgers and Houston Astros — Dodgers manager Dave Roberts speaks to the media.

Reporter: What would you say was the hardest part of getting here?

Roberts: That’s tough. It wasn’t just one thing. We lost a lot of players in the middle of the season. Cody Bellinger got drunk in a bar, did karaoke, had sex for the first time and quit the team to get married. It was particularly strange when we traded Clayton Kershaw after he got into a feud with Yasmani Grandal and I can’t for the life of me tell you what we got in return. And when Grandal’s wife returned from the war, he decided he was going to quit the team just before the Series. So having all that happen just before we play Houston, it really hasn’t been easy.

Reporter: And now you have to face Kershaw, because your GM traded him to the Astros.

Roberts: I won’t lie, it’s pretty ridiculous that we managed to get to the World Series after all this happened to us.

Reporter: And Curtis Granderson?

Roberts: Yeah, him breaking down in tears and calling it a season after he got that telegram from the Army was understandable. I’m still not sure why the messenger had to be such a dick.

Reporter: Any regrets about telling Grandal to “stop thinking with his tits” when you were mic’d up by ESPN during that Sunday night game?

Roberts: Yep, that was uncalled for, as was scratching my balls in the dugout earlier in the year. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to manage a team that doesn’t have its best pitcher, catcher, cleanup hitter and left fielder.

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