Culture

Donald Trump Lost The 400-Pound Hacker Vote During Tonight’s Debate

Donald Trump has many enemies: liberals, Americans with common sense, anyone who prefers Home Alone to Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, and now, he’s lost the obese hacker vote. During tonight’s debate against Hillary Clinton — which included annoying sniffling, bad jokes, and denials of global warming — Trump weighed in on the Democratic National Committee email hack, which “intelligence officials are now highly confident that the Russian government was behind.” Well, have we considered other possibilities? “I don’t think anybody knows it was Russia that broke into the DNC,” Trump offered to moderator Lester Holt. “It could be Russia. It could also be China. It could also be someone sitting on their bed that weighs 400 pounds.”

Needless to say, the 400-pound hackers of the world — which, I imagine, is how Trump sees everyone on the internet, probably downing Mountain Dew by the liter in their mother’s basement — had a field day with this jab.

In July, Trump told a crowd in Scranton, Pennsylvania, that the culprit could be, you guessed it, “a 400-pound person lying in bed.” With reportedly up to 100 million people watching tonight’s debate, and with all the talk about Trump’s website, the hacker community probably isn’t a hornet’s nest you want to poke.

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