Donald Trump Turned A Victory Speech Into A Bizarre Infomercial For Trump Products Last Night

Donald Trump Holds News Conference In Jupiter, Florida
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Tuesday night’s primary elections were notable for a few reasons. First, a surprised Bernie Sanders won Michigan (including Dearborn, which has the highest Arab Muslim concentration in the nation) over Hillary Clinton when the early polls predicted otherwise. Donald Trump collected more willing states, including Michigan, but that was no surprise at all. The weird Trump story of the evening (and you knew there had to be one) was a sideshow during his full victory speech.

Naturally, Trump’s presentation involved the usual bashing of his enemies. He trashed Cruz and Rubio, and he engaged in more obsessive talk about his Trump University fraud lawsuits. Trump never settles, you know. Settle once, and you gotta settle again, but wait. Why is there a table full of raw meat sitting several feet away from the shouty man? Trump only enjoys well-done steaks, but let’s take a looksee at that meat, wine, and water.

Donald Trump Holds News Conference In Jupiter, Florida
Getty Image

Trump stopped trashing folks for a moment to reference the “Trump Steaks.”

Yes, there’s a security agent next to those chunks of meat. Perhaps it’s even a Secret Service guy, for Trump began to benefit from them not too long ago. Look at how depressed this guy looks. Dude’s almost as hostage-like as Chris Christie.

So, what’s up with these chunks of meat? Trump’s team claimed they were Trump Steaks, but that may not be possible. Remember, Trump Steaks (“the world’s greatest steaks”) folded a few years ago after a 2007 inception and brief reign within the Sharper Image catalog. Did Trump just trot out a bunch of aged angus beef?

Not so freaking fast. These steaks bear the telltale Bush Brothers packaging. Why would Trump lie about these damn steaks, and who benefits from this charade?

Meanwhile, Twitter reacted with amusement to this caveman meat display.

Indeed, Trump Steaks can be counted among one of many Trump business flops (along with Trump Vodka and Trump University), but let’s revisit this magnificent informercial of yesteryear.