So, who won Iowa? When the votes were tallied, it was Ted Cruz winning over Donald Trump and Marco Rubio, but Rubio’s surprisingly strong showing that brought him into third place was a huge win. Especially considering how far down he was in the polls over the last few months. Rubio was the real winner, you could say.
On the left, Hillary Clinton barely edged out Bernie Sanders to take Iowa, but Bernie was barely known even a few months ago and was down more than fifty points to Hillary in Iowa at the start of the year. For them to basically tie is a huge moral victory for Bernie and his band of democratic socialists. Even in defeat, they basically won! But… Hillary also won! Sometimes by coin flips! Exclamations!
That means Ted Cruz, Bernie Sanders, Hillary Clinton and Marco Rubio all won in Iowa. Even if it was just in their own ways. And even though Donald Trump came in second, he won as well with his thoughtful and humble speech as he left the Hawkeye state. Everyone was a winner. It was like a political Oprah show: “And you get a constituent! And you get a constituent!”
The winners won, the losers won, and even some of the winners lost because they’ll want to win later rather than sooner or else they’ll be losers. It all makes sense if you let The Daily Show explain it. We promise.
(Via The Daily Show)