Did you hear? Kobe Bryant is retiring. It’ll come after this season, which an annoyingly stuffy basketball analyst will complain is simply a swan song for Bean and not the first step in their now two-year long rebuild. It’ll also be a chance for fans to say goodbye, writers to crack their knuckles in an attempt to eulogize Bryant’s hall-of-fame career, and people on Twitter to opine obnoxiously obvious bromides and vicious insults in equal measure (Sorry, we’re just not a fan of democratizing the masses, or even newspaper columnists.)
As such, on NBA TV Tuesday night, Chris Webber, Greg Anthony and Ernie Johnson spoke following Kobe’s introduction in Philadelphia, where the Lakers are facing the Sixers (#GoSixers) and Bean plied his trade at Lower Merion High School. It was a special moment for him in his last NBA season and the first step — since his announcement — in the five-month Kobe parade we’ll now all be watching. So, Webber thought he’d offer up a helpful anecdote about his own time in Philadelphia, and what transpired when Allen Iverson was traded to the Denver Nuggets in December of 2006.
Around the 20-second mark in the video above, after Webber talks about hugging his good friend Iverson goodbye, he explains his master plan: take all of Iverson’s stuff out of his locker.
“And then I was sitting in the locker room and I’m like, that’s my boy Allen Iverson. He’s one of the greatest players ever. I’m about to take everything out of his locker. I took everything out of his locker. I have about 20 pairs of shoes; I got his jersey, practice jersey, shorts, socks; I took the dirty clothes bag — no lie. Because I’m like, this is the greatest moment ever for — and I’m just like ‘ya’ll don’t want none of this? This is AI’s stuff?’ And at my house right now, I got the last shoes he played with in Philly, the last uniform.
“I’m just trying to give these guys some advice: Steal Kobe’s stuff after every game!”
It’s official. Chris Webber is a hoarder. No, but seriously, that’s some quick thinking Chris. The young Lakers better listen.