Atlas Shrugged Producers Looking for Handout After the Invisible Hand Wanked

Senior Editor
09.25.13 89 Comments

According to Ayn Rand’s most fervant fanboys – Shruggalos, as I like to call them – Atlas Shrugged, her 1139-page anti-collectivist screed about what would happen if society’s movers and shakers decided not to work (shrugged, if you will) remains as relevant today as it was when it was published during the days of Mao and Khrushchev in 1957.

When Shruggalos John Aglialoro and Harmon Kaslow couldn’t get socialist Hollywood to follow through with making an Atlas Shrugged movie, they produced it themselves, releasing it on tax day in 2011, when it earned $4.6 million on a $20 million budget. A second installment made $3.3 million in 2012, and now the producers are on Kickstarter raising money for a third installment, Atlas Shrugged: Who is John Galt?, with a video featuring celebrity Shruggalos Dennis Miller, Sean Hannity, John Stossel, Penn Jillette, Glenn Beck, and that one fat guy with no forehead. WHO’S LOOKING FOR HANDOUTS NOW, PAULTARDS?!?

At least, that’s what they want the story to be. They’re basically financing the $10 million movie themselves again, but they’re using the $250,000 Kickstarter campaign as a publicity stunt, since no one paid attention to their crappy movies the last two times. A canny strategy?

Despite the disappointing box-office numbers, producers Harmon Kaslow and John Aglialoro vowed to press on with Part 3. The filmmakers don’t necessarily need an extra  $250,000 but they intend to ride the Kickstarter campaign to some free marketing, especially from detractors of Ayn Rand’s.

“There is an incredible amount of vitriol out there and we have every intention of capitalizing on it this time around,” Kaslow tells The Hollywood Reporter. “The day we launch the Kickstarter campaign those haters are going to come alive. They’re going to come after us in droves, attacking us everywhere online. To them, we say, thank you.”

Yes, well, I’m going to go ahead and continue not giving a shit about this project one way or the other. Not because I’m opposed to the message, but because I heard John Galt doesn’t even show up until the third movie. What kind of crap is that? What do you think this is, The Hobbit?

Meanwhile, I’m still raising money for my rowdy college comedy set at a libertarian frat house, Atlas Buttchugged.

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