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Porn and feminism have always had a complicated relationship. Early feminists initial reaction to porn was that it was degrading and objectifying. Later feminists held up certain porn as liberated and empowering. How do things stand now? Being that Farrah Abraham starred in Vivid’s best-selling video ever, Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom, she seemed like a natural person to help clear this up for us.
The Miami New Times’ Cultist got just such an opportunity to ask when offered a phone interview with Abraham about a new Vivid strip club in Miami that she’s promoting (oh, Florida).
Do you consider yourself a feminist?
I’m pretty feminine. I think so.
Not feminine — feminist.
What does that mean, you’re a lesbian or something?
My God, that exchange should be framed in the Louvre.
But let’s not make fun of the poor girl, let’s help her understand before we force her to make a judgment.
No, that’s not what I’m asking at all.
What context are you saying it in?
It’s a complicated concept, but I guess at its most basic, it means that women are equal to men.
Oh, I definitely feel that women are equal to men. No doubt about that. I mean women should have equal rights to men, every day.
See? She is a feminist after all. That’s a relief.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, she’s still sticking to that dumb James-Deen-was-my-boyfriend story:
I’ve heard you speak about how your sex tape came about, and I don’t understand the narrative. Can you expand on it?
Basically, how my sex tape came about is how I live my life.
“That’s just how I live my life. You know, I grip it and rip it. I live life with a lot of butt sex, and squirting.” …Sorry, I couldn’t resist.
….I’m 22, I’m very sexual, I’m single. A boyfriend of mine at the time, which was James [Deen], is in the industry and makes videos all the time, and so I thought it was a comfortable situation to have my only sex video with him. Proved me wrong, obviously, because it was leaking out, and I was starting to have people reach out to me. Maybe he did that because he wanted to promote his film at the time, The Canyons, which was coming out with Lindsay Lohan. So it turned into a hurtful chain of events, so I involved my lawyer. Other companies were reaching out and wanted to buy it, so I ended up selling it. And against all odds of everybody else telling me not to sell it, not to do it or whatever — it was already out, it was already going to be out there for free. So I made a business deal out of it. I’m smart, and I’m happy that I did that.
Are you guys still together?
Nope, I’m definitely not talking to him or dating him anymore. I’m not really going to say how long or what we’ve done. This is really not about him.
Jesus. Whoever Farrah Abraham’s PR people are who are advising her really need to be fired into the sun. Here they have a prime opportunity for an honest story that people would be interested in: “A reality TV girl filmed a filthy porno full of anal and squirting!”
THAT’S THE STORY. THAT’S ALL YOU NEED. Instead, they did what every idiot reality TV show producer does, which is take the interesting nuances of real life and try to shoehorn it into some tired format everyone already hates. “RESTAURANT OWNER DOESN’T WANT ROBERT IRVINE TO TURN AROUND HIS FAILING BUSINESS, DRAMA! DRAMA! DRAMA!”
To the point where she’s asking people to believe that she only made a sex tape with the most famous male porn star in the world for the world’s most well-known porn company in the world because he was her boyfriend and she thought it was private. You’re still holding onto this story? Seriously? As H.L. Mencken once said, it takes a real f*ckin idiot to overestimate the stupidity of the American public.
![[avatar]](https://profilecdn-woven.netdna-ssl.com/photo/257/profile)
From the looks of that horsey kisser, Farrah Abraham looks like she very easily could have once been Abraham Farrah.
She looks like Cleto, the band leader on jimmy kimmel, in drag
A boyfriend of mine at the time, which was James [Deen], is in the industry and makes videos all the time, and so I thought it was a comfortable situation to have my only sex video with him. Proved me wrong, obviously, because it was leaking out, and I was starting to have people reach out to me.
Dor sho gha!
She’s so dumb this interview 503’d the site.
No. You can’t not know what a feminist is and then claim that you’re smart two minutes later. No. Unacceptable. Uh-uh.
Do you consider yourself a humanist?
“I’m pretty human. I think so.”
Are you a florist?
“I LIKE FLOWERS!”
No “ist” means you hate something. Like, “racist” or “Istanbul.”
Do you consider yourself a socialist?
“I’m fun at parties. I think so.”
Do you consider yourself a pacifist?
“Only when that little bastard won’t stop crying.”
Do you consider yourself a botanist?
“I like it in the bot!”
Do you consider yourself a terrorist?
“There was some rectal terroring, sure.”
“Do you consider yourself a racist?”
“I can be pretty racy. I think so.”
“So what, what’s wrong with being sexy?”
“Sex-ist.”
She’s like a less self-aware Nigel Tufnel.
“Do you consider yourself a multiculturalist?”
“Yeah, I guess, I mean, I’ll have sex with a guy no matter what color his skin is, but I only do anal with white guys.”
“Do you consider yourself a classicist?”
“Oh, sure. I’m classy as shit.”
“Do you consider yourself a narcissist?”
“Like someone who burns buildings down? Maybe on the dance floor. Yeah! I’d be a real narcissist there!”
“Do you consider yourself an analyst?”
“Sure. Some mornings I can’t even sit on the toilet.”
“Do you consider yourself a communist?”
“Oh yeah, i like watching Comedy Central.”
I applaud ALL of you. This is one of my all-time favorite comment threads. Well done.
The Mighty Feklahr is certain this broad has missed her true calling in life: Museum Tour Guide
*6th graders approach skeleton of T Rex*
“This is Tyrannorrhea Rex. His boners were dug up by dinocologists. He was the meanest dinosaur because his arms were too short for him to jerk off.”
…and I don’t understand the narrative. Can you expand on it?
“Um, like this: O-o-o-o-o-n I-i-i-i-i-t?”
She seems to have done pretty well for herself. This is what happens when you say “you’re sitting on a gold mine” to a dumb person.
Also: she doesn’t have to pay taxes, because her anus is claiming her as a dependent.
Good God, I would watch the shit out of Porno: Impossible.
“WHAT IS THIS?!? YOU CALL YOURSELF A FLUFFER?!? OH COME ON, HE’S ABOUT AS HARD AS A WINSTON CHURCHILL STOOL SAMPLE!!!”
We need to get TLC on this immediately. I would not only watch this, but I would buy the season on DVD, in ADVANCE.
Do you consider yourself an analyst?
I’m very detailed-oriented and mathematically inclined. I think so.
Yes, I have 3. Wait–you did say “anal cyst,” right?
“I mean women should have equal rights to men, every day, except when someone has to pay a bill, or carry something heavy, or put gas in the car. Then men should have ALL the rights.”
So it turned into a hurtful chain of events, so I involved my lawyer. To, you know, discuss my legal options with regards to privacy law and and what punitive damages I could pursue if this tape were ever leaked to the media without my consent. Turns out there was more money in leaking the tape, so fuck my dignity along with any other orifice you dare.
With all that anal, isn’t the movie itself already a hurtful chain of events?
Am I all alone in here or am I the only one who cracked the Uproxx code? Oh I see, it’s quittin’ time for most of you. East coast suckers. I get to work for three more hours.
The Mighty Feklahr has the cloaking device on. OR Was watching UFC prelims.
Pulling a night shift halfway round the world, got distracted by actual work. Won’t happen again.
LIES! If you’re halfway around the world, it’s already 3 in the afternoon tomorrow and you would be in a hammock with a beer. Or watching UFC prelims.
As opposed to Pulling a Night Shaft, which is Farah Abraham’s epistolary novel.
You’ve rumbled me. I’m actually right there with you. Always. Watching. Waiting.
Do you consider yourself a pessimist?
Ewww no. I mean there was that time I got stung by a jellyfish, but gross!
Do you consider yourself a bigamist?
Well I’m not ALL About size, but yeah, it’s important.
“So I made a business deal out of it. I’m smrt.”
I got that reference.
Do you consider yourself a pragmatist?
No. I don’t practice that Jew karate.
Not to be confused with Jew jitsu.
/headbutts self
Its hella sad she’s still trying to sell the idea that when she filmed a straight out porno, with a paid male performer that it was just a personal sex tape.
Right and I was just checking my email and all that porno showed up, so of course I had to masturbate.
Do you consider yourself an idealist?
“I have lots of ideas. I think so.”
Do you consider yourself an atheist?
I have given a lot of thought to cosmology, and while my surname is clearly biblical, I actually take a secular view of humanity’s place in the universe. Also, I’ll polish your dong for a nickel.
Do you consider yourself an aerialist?
“My tits are fantastic. I think so.”
Do you consider yourself a philatelist?
“Not since my boob job.”
Do you consider yourself a pugilist?
“That video was supposed to be private between Tom Six and myself. We were very much in love.”
Do you consider yourself a horticulturalist?
“I am part of a culture of prostitution. I think so.”
I hope she and Deen “get back together” for one more sex tape that shows off his…shall we say more “physical” talents. And by that I mean I really want to see her get choked out.
After she faked needing a pregnancy test, and accused him of having a tiny dick I doubt he’s willing to put his dick into her again.
There’s something I find absolutely charming about accusing somebody whose rhino dick is a screensaver on half of America’s computers of being poorly hung. It’s like saying Shaq can’t dunk. Deen might as well have retorted that she’s a prude.
Someone in the thread about the racist Big Brother contestant mentioned how this is the reality in modern America. You can say anything, no matter how untruthful and stick by it. You can say the grass is blue and the sky is green and no one can refute it. I don’t know what we can do about it, but people like this need to be put into facilities where they can’t harm the genepo…I don’t know what to do.
Gotta hand it to the interviewer for super-human patience and self-restraint. She’d be rotting under my floorboards right now if I had to exchange more than three words with her.
I’m absolutely disgusted that you don’t have a bag of lime and a shovel within arm’s reach at all times. Fuck that tell-tale heart shit, we professionals round here.
Sooooo….anyone know the name of the chick on the right in the banner image?
Just…ya know….asking for a friend.
I’m asking for myself.
so we still havent made progress on who this is? Can someone post this to Reddit? Someone there will definitely know….
Not every feminist can break the glass ceiling–some people have to be content with destroying brown bottoms.
do you consider yourself an existentialist?
I cant eat those, i’m vegan
Better one:
Do you consider yourself an existentialist?
“Well I exist…I think so”
Do you consider yourself a surrealist?
“I like cheerios. I think so.”
I did this all goddamn afternoon and you come up with this. Fuck you, Ace. Now I have to remember how to nominate someone.
Do you consider yourself a pianist?
“I like peen. I think so.”
Do you consider yourself a palmist?
“I have a little dog. I think so.”
Do you consider yourself a canoeist?
“I occasionally douche with one. I think so.”
“A boyfriend of mine at the time…”
What time was that, Farrah?
“Oh, between 12:30pm and 4:15pm on the day of the shoot.”
Do you consider yourself an exorcist?
“I’m pretty active. I think so.”
Do you consider yourself a hairstylist?
“I’m pretty hairy. I think so.”
I’ll regret this some day.
dont ever change
Do you consider yourself an optometrist?
“I’m pretty happy. I think so.”
Don’t they execute dumb cunts like this in N Korea?
Why isn’t she on the plane with Dennis Rodman!?
This entire comment thread is beautiful.
“Do you consider yourself an egotist?”
“I prefer Hot Pockets.”
Farrah looks like a “Crazy Horse”
Seriously, look at the pic, HORSE FACE 100%
She would know what feminism was if it were something she could put in her butt.
Aww, I missed all the fun. Damn you, work!
Okay, I get to do one anyway…
“Is your boyfriend a misogynist?”
“He does love missoging my boobs.”
“Are you a sadist?”
“Generally I’m a very cheerful person, but you know what they say: Sometimes life fucks you in the butt.”