A lot of people seem to have forgotten that Nicolas Cage is one of the greatest actors who has ever lived. It’s easy to look at his recent body of work and be astonished at the way he’s become a paycheck C-lister, but that shouldn’t make us all forget that the man is a once-in-a-lifetime talent. After all, few actors have ever starred in some truly terrible films and still managed to deliver memorable performances. Even if we’re remembering them for all the wrong reasons.
One of the biggest contributing factors to Cage’s most dynamic and unforgettable roles has always been his hair. Sure, his attempts at accents and regional dialect have occasionally left us unimpressed and falling over with laughter, but that never matters when you’re caught up staring at the actor’s incredible mane of majestic hair. Some people might argue that a hairstyle is superfifical and doesn’t make the man, but in Cage’s case it has always begun and ended with his head and the artistic masterpieces that have been laid upon it. So to celebrate the beloved actor’s 51st birthday today, I have assembled my team of scientists and statisticians, and we have ranked the best and most powerful hairstyles from Nic Cage’s incredible movie career.
Honorable Mention: Outcast
We had an incredible laugh over the British accent that Cage showed off in the trailer for Outcast, but the film hasn’t been released yet, so I haven’t been able to watch this story of a Knight of the Crusade helping to restore order to the throne in China. But look at that hair! It’s like a goth stripper passed out on his natural bald spot.
25) Guarding Tess
A man’s hair doesn’t get much more professional and borderline elegant than this. Cage has had a few roles over the years requiring him to sport a high-and-tight, military cut or generally serious adult male style. This is the best and safest of his movie ‘dos.
You wouldn’t expect a psychopath like Castor Troy to have such a boyish hairstyle, but the short look actually made us pay more attention to Cage’s insane facial mannerisms and huge, bulging eyeballs. It’s almost as if Cage chooses his hairstyles for the sake of making a character more challenging. Again, he’s a brilliant actor that we take for granted.
23) Fast Times at Ridgemont High
It’s a classic 70s/80s doofus style, indicative of the role he was playing as a random shmuck working in fast food. It was almost an analogy of his career, though, as if Hollywood was telling Cage, “You want to be a star, Coppola boy? You have to earn those feathered layers like a general earns his stars, damn it.” And Cage would go on to do just that.
I call this one the Panicked Executive. It’s not all-the-way-professional, but it also doesn’t reveal signs of craziness on the outside. It’s well-styled for the role of a money man who puts his career first, but when this style is eventually on the head of a threatened, scared man, it can unleash the psychotic fury as fast as you can short sell a struggling studio’s stock.
21) Dying of the Light
As far as I can tell, this is the only movie role that Cage has gone full grey for, and that just reiterates my point about how important hair can be. He’s dying so his hair is grey. It’s goddamned brilliant.