‘Lincoln’ studio plans biopic of Presidents Bull-Moose and Lardass

Dreamworks, the studio that previously brought us Lincoln, from director Steven Spielberg, based on the book by Doris Kearns Goodwin, has acquired the rights to another book by Goodwin, the upcoming “The Bully Pulpit: Theodore Roosevelt, William Howard Taft, and the Golden Age of Journalism,” which hits stores November 5th.

I’m incredibly excited about this news, not only because I think Teddy Roosevelt is the most interesting president, but because I can’t wait to see Daniel Day-Lewis eat himself to death trying to fatten up for Taft. (Starring Andy Serkis as the mustaches!)

Goodwin’s “The Bully Pulpitwill be released Nov. 5, 2013 by Simon & Schuster. The book, seven years in the making, tells the riveting story of two longtime friends who become bitter political opponents. Roosevelt’s fighting spirit and impulsive temperament stood in counterpoint to Taft’s deliberative, conciliatory disposition. Yet, their opposing qualities proved complementary, allowing them to create a rare camaraderie and productive collaboration until their brutal fight for the presidential nomination in 1912 divided them, their families, their colleagues, and their friends. It split the Republican Party in two and altered the course of American history. [TheWrap]

I still like my title better, “MUSTACHE FIGHT: The Adventures of Bull-Moose and Lardass.”

I’m also partial to a different Roosevelt biography, written by one of my Columbia professors. Or better yet, Shroud of the Thwacker, written by Cabin Boy Chris Elliot, in which Teddy Roosevelt is depicted as a hard-drinking, back-slapping, time-traveling detective trying to catch a serial killer known as “the Thwacker.” Now THAT should be a movie. But go ahead, Spielberg, make your boring old journalism book, you milquetoast wiener.