Drug Lord Who Helped Inspire ‘Traffic’ Killed by Clown Assassins

The subject of this next story is only tangentially related to movies (his cartel helped inspire characters in Traffic) but every once in a while it feels like Renny Harlin has been writing reality. So it was when a Mexican drug lord was murdered at a family gathering over the weekend by assassins disguised as children’s clowns. WHOOP WHOOP!

The eldest brother of Mexico’s once powerful Arellano Felix drug cartel family was killed by gunmen dressed as clowns at a children’s party, according to a Mexican investigator.

Francisco Rafael Arellano Felix, 63, [also known by the nicknames “El Pelón” (the baldie) or Menso, (“stupid/crazy”)] was shot dead on Friday during a family event in Cabo San Lucas, a tourist resort in the Baja California peninsula, state special investigations prosecutor Isai Arias told the AP news agency on Saturday.

“He was hit by two bullets, one in the thorax and one in the head,” Arias said, adding that the former Tijuana drug cartel lieutenant’s body was identified by relatives.

That’s good shootin. My sources say the clowns had spent weeks practicing by squirting seltzer in each other’s open mouths.

Authorities close to the case said the gunmen were disguised as clowns when they shot Arellano Felix at the party in the luxurious Casa Oceano tourist residence.

An official of the Baja California Sur state prosecutor’s office told the AP that the costumes included a wig and a round red nose.

The Arellano Felix brothers once dominated drug trafficking between Mexico and California through their brutal Tijuana cartel, inspiring characters in the Steven Soderbergh film, Traffic. [AlJazeera]

Other than Juggalos, I’m pretty sure Latins are the only culture that still enjoys clowns (my Italian grandma had like three clown paintings in her house, those things still give me nightmares). Because if a clown showed up to my party, everyone’s first thought would probably be “HEY WHAT THE F*CK ARE THOSE WEIRD CLOWNS DOING HERE?”

That would probably thwart their assassination attempt. Now if the gunmen disguised themselves as corgis…