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(From The Last Circus)
The subject of this next story is only tangentially related to movies (his cartel helped inspire characters in Traffic) but every once in a while it feels like Renny Harlin has been writing reality. So it was when a Mexican drug lord was murdered at a family gathering over the weekend by assassins disguised as children’s clowns. WHOOP WHOOP!
The eldest brother of Mexico’s once powerful Arellano Felix drug cartel family was killed by gunmen dressed as clowns at a children’s party, according to a Mexican investigator.
Francisco Rafael Arellano Felix, 63, [also known by the nicknames “El Pelón” (the baldie) or Menso, (“stupid/crazy”)] was shot dead on Friday during a family event in Cabo San Lucas, a tourist resort in the Baja California peninsula, state special investigations prosecutor Isai Arias told the AP news agency on Saturday.
“He was hit by two bullets, one in the thorax and one in the head,” Arias said, adding that the former Tijuana drug cartel lieutenant’s body was identified by relatives.
That’s good shootin. My sources say the clowns had spent weeks practicing by squirting seltzer in each other’s open mouths.
Authorities close to the case said the gunmen were disguised as clowns when they shot Arellano Felix at the party in the luxurious Casa Oceano tourist residence.
An official of the Baja California Sur state prosecutor’s office told the AP that the costumes included a wig and a round red nose.
The Arellano Felix brothers once dominated drug trafficking between Mexico and California through their brutal Tijuana cartel, inspiring characters in the Steven Soderbergh film, Traffic. [AlJazeera]
Other than Juggalos, I’m pretty sure Latins are the only culture that still enjoys clowns (my Italian grandma had like three clown paintings in her house, those things still give me nightmares). Because if a clown showed up to my party, everyone’s first thought would probably be “HEY WHAT THE F*CK ARE THOSE WEIRD CLOWNS DOING HERE?”
That would probably thwart their assassination attempt. Now if the gunmen disguised themselves as corgis…
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There were twelve would-be shooters and they all got out of a VW Beetle (that’s a clown joke, not a Mexican joke).
The Mexican Joke would be they all got out of the extended cab of a landscaping truck driven by a white guy with a goatee and sunglasses.
The child in me just flashes back to The Mask’s balloon animal tommy-gun…
“That’s good shootin. My sources say the clowns had spent weeks practicing by squirting seltzer in each other’s open mouths.”
Is your source Pam Benjamin? Cause if it is, that wasn’t seltzer that was being shot in her face…….
Never should have transitioned from the drug game to the Faberge egg game, that shit is cutthroat.
Felix’ family was wondering why you’d need a laser sight and high-powered scope to fire off a little flag that says, ¡BANG!
The police line up for the suspects should be fun but,”the costumes included a wig and a round red nose”; are we sure that means clowns and not a gang of Karl Malden impersonators?
Nope nope nope nope nope. Clowns are the worst. Always have been, always will be.
See, e.g., Poltergeist.
Seems appropriate. Killing the head of the Felix cartel would require big shoes to fill.
^Winner
I’m really disappointed you didn’t go with “Drug Lord Assassinated by Insane Clown Posse” for the headline
ICP has never had anything to do with a hit.
“Semi-automatic rifles with high capacity magazines, how the fuck do they work?”
lol bumped juggalo’s up from #13 to number #12.5 on FBI’s most wanted gangs…
I believe this sort of killing is known as Bajajajajaja Style.
Crime doesn’t payaso.
Shoulda gone with the mimes.
How many accomplices where there in the getaway S-10? 10? 20? I imagine the ground clearance would be an issue at some point.
Is “thorax” a typo or was this Mexican drug lord a “grande cucaracha”?
This is why you never trust a damn clown.
I see Extremo hasn’t taken offense. But he was always good people.