Florida Friday: Beware The Genital-Biting Prostitutes Of Orlando!

If there’s one thing that I’ve learned living in Florida as long as I have, it’s that if you’re going to hire an escort and snort ecstasy with her, you need to be aware that she might try to bite your genitals and gouge your eyes out until you die. If you’re not aware of that, then you’re just not ready for the big league, friends.

An Orange County (Orlando-ish) man learned that lesson the hard way on Tuesday, after he met 29-year old Priscilla Vaughn online, took her to dinner and then tried to shack up with her at a Crestwood Suites near UCF. Once they got a little more comfortable, though, all frightening hell broke loose.

The victim claims they went to the Crestwood Suites on University Boulevard Tuesday, where she began hitting him and biting his genitals.

According to an arrest report, Vaughn tried to gouge the man’s eyes out as well.

The report stated that the victim took her to dinner and then checked into the hotel room where they smoked marijuana and snorted Ecstasy.

The victim also described in the report that during sexual contact, Vaughn acted as though she was trying to eat his genitals.

The man was able to lock himself into a bathroom until authorities arrived.

Investigators said that when they arrived at the scene, they found Vaughn naked, growling and covered with blood. (Via WFTV)

I assume the scene looked a little like this:

I guess my only question is where did he take her to dinner? Because I tried to take a girl to a Burger King by that hotel once and she got all pissy with me, too.