FLORIDA FRIDAY: A Guy Wore A Shirt With The Recipe For Crack On It To Court

Pro tip, folks: If you’re going to court, wear something tasteful and non-threatening. Think polo shirt with a sweater around your neck, or a nice pant suit. What you definitely do not want to wear is a sweatshirt (that’s jumper for the Brits) with the recipe for crack printed on it and a gun for a zipper. That tends to suggest guilt, especially when you’re on trial for a drug offense.

From The Smoking Gun:

Christopher Patterson, a convicted felon who previously served time for cocaine possession, entered no contest pleas last Tuesday to distribution and conspiracy charges related to the sale of the painkiller Oxycodone to an undercover cop. [He was convicted] of a pair of felonies and sentenced to three years in state prison.

…Patterson made an unfortunate wardrobe choice when he appeared last year in a Fort Lauderdale courtroom for a hearing in the Oxycodone case. Patterson’s colorful sweatshirt carried the slogan “Stack Paper Say Nothing” and included drawings–baking soda, spoons, an open flame, and a stockpot–depicting the procedure to manufacture crack.

Clear-cut case of not following your own advice here. The “say nothing” part clearly applies to graphic depictions of your crimes, because, as we all know, a picture says a thousand words. And in this case all 1,000 of them are “I like drugs.”

Patterson’s sweatshirt was manufactured by a firm called Stash House and had a zipper pull in the shape of a handgun. [TheSmokingGun]

That’s right, there’s a clothing company called “Stash House,” as in, that place where drug dealers keep their drugs, and they sell drug clothes to idiots like Christopher Patterson.  Here’s that crack jacket in red. Here’s one with a velveteen rabbit holding a bag of loot and shooting people. Here’s one with a skeleton holding a gun invoking his fifth amendment rights (though I’m not sure the constitution applies to dead people). It doesn’t say whether the brand is headquartered in Florida, but that would be perfect.