Former POW Jessica Lynch Is Starring In A Christian Movie About The Government Taking Over Church

As the internet’s number-one source for faithbased movie news and Christian ball trauma, I’m happy to report that former POW Jessica Lynch will be starring in the subtly named “One Church,” from subtly-named production house JC Films, a subtly-allegorical film about “the possible government takeover of churches.” Lynch will play the president’s daughter.

President and screenwriter Jason Campbell of Morgantown [West Virginia]-based JC Films said the drama explores the possible government takeover of churches.

Lynch was captured after her Army unit took a wrong turn and came under attack in Iraq in 2003. Eleven American soldiers were killed and six were captured, including Lynch. Her high-profile nighttime rescue from an Iraqi hospital made her an instant celebrity.

She met Campbell while he was in West Virginia promoting the 2013 film “Finding Faith,” which starred Erik Estrada of TV series “CHiPs” fame. Campbell offered Lynch a part in his next film, “Virtuous,” and she accepted. Lynch had a speaking part and her Iraq experience was loosely depicted in the film.

The movie is scheduled to be shown next year in churches across the country. [Yahoo]

“Virtuous,” incidentally, uses a cross for the “T” and stars Erik Estrada in the story of a subtly-named drug addict called “Simone Burner.”

And if you were wondering whether this “government takeover of churches” depicted in One Church takes place in some dystopian future, or whether it’s a legitimate worry for the filmmakers, the film’s official website should give you some indication:

“A true story that hasn’t happened yet,” is just an incredible bit of marketing genius.

It’s funny, the government lets these organizations collect 10% of their congregations’ incomes tax free, then spend it financing production companies that quote Ronald Reagan in their official literature, and how do they repay it? They make movies about how the government’s always trying to take their stuff. Talk about ungrateful. A bunch of welfare queens, if you ask me.

Anyway, I hope this has the same producer as Ja Rule’s movie.

That guy’s good. In a poll of industry professionals, I heard he came in second behind Marvel’s Kevin Feige.