Fun Fact: Grandma's Boy publishes right-wing children's books

Gird yourself, folks, we’re about to go deep down the rabbit hole. You may remember Allen Covert from Burnsy’s

Covert was there to promote his new endeavor, a digital media company called Cherry Tree that entertains children with patriotic stories and life lessons. Covert told Fox News, “As a parent with young children, I would always find little things that bothered me when I was reading bedtime stories or watching shows or listening to children’s music. I couldn’t find any stories, games or television shows that were fun and exciting while also being morally instructive and patriotic. I just felt that some parents would want stories that show strong themes of morality and patriotism.”

Well… that doesn’t seem so bad, I guess. “Patriotism” tends to sound scarily Gestapo-like when conservative bloggers say it, but let’s see where he’s going with it…

Familiar faces in the Cherry Tree series include Tex the T-Rex (a patriotic dinosaur with new books coming out July 4th – his birthday!), Special Hops (pro-military rabbits), and The Eagles (a family that passes on traditional values). Also coming soon is “Potty in the U.S.A,” a potty-training series with toddler versions of Betsy Ross, Thomas Jefferson, and Lewis and Clark. They’ll also teach children about the Pledge of Allegiance and the Revolutionary War.

Phew, well thank the Christian God there isn’t just The Lorax turning our kids into pinko, tree-hugging queers with his dago mustache and slam poetry, now we have pro-military rabbits to teach them about our heroic American robot murder planes while they poop. TRUCKASAURUS, MOTHERF*CKER! (*guitar solo*)

All this was just the intro to the interview with Covert. But shockingly, the rest of the piece wasn’t too interesting.

3. In A Clockwork Orange, Malcolm McDowell is strapped in with his eyes propped open and forced to watch images until he was “cured.” If you could give President Obama, Rep. Nancy Pelosi and Leader Harry Reid the “Clockwork Orange treatment,” what movie would you make them watch?

The Undefeated by Steve Bannon. It would make their heads explode like in the movie Scanners.

That’s the Sarah Palin movie, incidentally. Let us never speak of it again.

7. If Democrats and Republicans had theme songs for 2012 what would they be?
For the Democrats it would be “Liar” by The Sex Pistols. For the Republicans it has to be “Stuck in the Middle With You” by Stealers Wheel

8. Who would be on the perfect Red Eye panel?
Me (of course), Bill Schulz, the late great Andrew Breitbart, Thaddeus McCotter and Carrie Keegan. [Townhall]

“Stuck in the Middle?” So the Republicans want to cut my ears off now? I don’t get it.

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