George Clooney Is Going To Great Lengths To Get People Drunk At His Wedding

At some point in the very near future, we will sense a great disturbance in the force as if millions of women are crying out in agony at the same time. That will be because George Clooney is set to wed Amal Alamuddin, and at the very least, Stacy Keibler’s neighbors are probably going to hear a lot of swearing and things breaking. When the world’s most eligible bachelor is set to tie the knot is still mostly unknown, as he told the crowd at a recent charity event that he couldn’t wait to marry Alamuddin in Venice, the city in which they met and fell in love, “in a couple of weeks.”

What is known is that Clooney’s best friend and business partner Rande Gerber, who is also the lucky SOB married to Cindy Crawford, reportedly personally loaded 100 cases of Casamigos Tequila – the brand that he co-owns with Clooney – onto a private jet that was set to head from California to Italy. It’s safe to assume that the booze is meant for Clooney’s wedding, but there’s also a chance that Gerber just really f*cking knows how to party.

Meanwhile, just how crazy are news agencies and the tabloids starting to get regarding the unknown big date and details about the location of the wedding? Officials at the Chelsea Registry Office in London had to post this notice last week to make sure that the paparazzi weren’t camping out with cameras and film crews.

I’d be willing to run decoy for Clooney if a few dozen of those cases somehow found their way to my home, or if he’d like to be my best friend, too.