George Lucas says Greedo ALWAYS shot first, you were just confused

George Lucas has been on a good vibes publicity tour trying to get people to see him as human and not as The Monster Who Ruined Star Wars ever since the run up to Red Tails. To my surprise, it actually seemed to be working, and people were buying his line of BS that black people need crappy movies too and that his uncredited remake of that other Tuskeegee Airmen movie was actually a victory for Civil Rights. But today his 3-D Episode I re-release gets re-released, and it’s nice to have the old Lucas back, the one who needs endless money to fill his neck pouch and molests children’s dreams on his Racecar Bed, with cat bones strewn about the room.

Just to drive the point home, he’s back talking about how Greedo shot first. Only now he says Greedo ALWAYS shot first, and if you thought otherwise, you were just confused.

THR: People can get fanatical about the movies — how does that make you feel? The puppet vs. CGI Yoda ruckus, and the who-shot-first, Han Solo or Greedo furor come to mind.

Lucas: Well, it’s not a religious event. I hate to tell people that. It’s a movie, just a movie. The controversy over who shot first, Greedo or Han Solo, in Episode IV, what I did was try to clean up the confusion, but obviously it upset people because they wanted Solo [who seemed to be the one who shot first in the original] to be a cold-blooded killer, but he actually isn’t. It had been done in all close-ups and it was confusing about who did what to whom. I put a little wider shot in there that made it clear that Greedo is the one who shot first, but everyone wanted to think that Han shot first, because they wanted to think that he actually just gunned him down. [THR]

Really, dude? They didn’t want him to be “a cold-blooded killer,” they wanted him to be a guy who could sense danger ahead of time and had enough of an edge to do something about it. The new way, he’s just a guy who’s lucky that aliens can’t shoot worth a damn. I agree with the part about it being wildly overrated though. That’s basically what he was saying, right?

DEAR FANS: Quit being so fanatical about the six-part movie I’m releasing in theaters for the third time. Don’t see it, don’t take your kids to see it, just stop letting me milk money from this thing altogether. I’m already super rich! Sincerely, George.

That’s how I read it, anyway.

Photo credit: cinemafestival /