GI Joe pushed back to March 2013 because Paramount just heard about 3D

As if it wasn’t already bad enough that they’re probably going to kill off Channing Tatum in the first five minutes, GI Joe: Retaliation, directed by Jon M. Chu of Justin Bieber: Never Say Never fame, which was originally supposed to open June 29th, has been pushed back to March 2013, supposedly so that it can be converted to 3D. Reached for comment, a Paramount exec said, “That’s right, ‘3D.’ Have ya hoid about it? I just saw that there Avatar picture on the aeroplane. Apparently it’s the hot new thing! All the whippersnappers think it’s the gibbon’s knickers!”

“It is increasingly evident that 3D resonates with movie-goers globally and together with Paramount, we made the decision to bring fans an even more immersive entertainment experience,” said Brian Goldner, Hasbro’s President and CEO in an official statement. [SuperHeroHype]

Huh. Well that guy seems totally full of shit. I like my version better.

Paramount’s decision is also surprising to many in the movie industry for several reasons:
•    It was done just five weeks before the film was set to hit theaters. Paramount has already spent millions on marketing and promotion touting the June 29 launch, including a Super Bowl commercial, trailers, posters, a presentation to theater owners at Cinema-Con in April and a website that now lists an incorrect opening date.
•    It leaves Paramount with an extraordinarily light release schedule in 2012. Following the decision to delay December’s zombie thriller “World War Z” to next summer, “G.I. Joe: Retaliation” was Paramount’s only 2012 event movie with a budget of more than $100 million. The other five major studios all have several such pictures.
•    Paramount’s 2013 schedule is now comparatively packed with big movies. Along with two other movies delayed from 2012, the aforementioned “World War Z” and “Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters,” the studio is also releasing a new “Star Trek”  and a reboot of the “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” animated franchise. [LA Times]

Well I bet it’s probably because the movie’s, like, really good, and Paramount just wanted to make sure you’d wait long enough to appreciate it, and has nothing to do with The Avengers steamrolling every other release this month, and that other Hasbro movie taking a huge dump and the execs getting cold feet about GI Joe doing the same. Yeah, the movie-is-really-good thing, that’s probably the reason.