Andy Serkis to direct and star in a mo-cap Animal Farm movie. My joke dreams are coming true!

Yes, folks, this is real. This is not a test of the Emergency Unintentional Parody System. Andy Serkis – the man who “played” Gollum and Caesar the chimp in Rise of Planet of the Apes – has announced plans to direct and star in a motion-capture take on George Orwell’s Animal Farm. Presumably, the man who pretended to be a chimp pretending to be a man and taught us what it means to be human, will now play a pair of pigs who become human in order to embody the horrors of totalitarianism. The metaphors… I’m dizzy…

The Imaginarium has negotiated the rights for a feature film adaptation of George Orwell’s classic tale, Animal Farm.
“Both The Bone Season and Animal Farm are perfectly suited to the Imaginarium,” said Imaginarium’s Jonathan Cavendish. “With Animal Farm, we will reinvent this iconic story for a new generation, using the unique storytelling techniques offered by performance capture. The acquisition of these two projects marks an exciting time for all us at The Imaginarium.”
Serkis and Cavendish will serve as producers on The Bone Season; Serkis will direct and act in Animal Farm and produce along with Cavendish.
“We are delighted to officially announce our involvement in bringing this classic yet controversial fable to life, hopefully allowing it to resonate for our times with a combination of a fresh perspective, real emotional heart, a great deal of humor and satire,” said Serkis. “By utilizing performance capture, a deeply talented and committed cast of actors will be able to explore and fully inhabit Orwell’s fairy tale world where ‘some animals are more equal than others.’” [Imaginarium press release via Deadline]

Oh my God, a room full of leotard-suited actors playing pigs and horses and sheep while Andy Serkis in a pig nose stands on a ladder earnestly shouting instructions into a bullhorn he’s holding with his hoof-hands… “TOMMY! Is that how you gallop? Quit lying to us, man! Stop acting like a horse and start becoming one! Can someone get him some oats? Christ, the man acts like he’s never worn a feedbag before… And Linda, you don’t start pecking yourself until my second bleat. Got it? Places, everyone! (*squeal*)”