Harrison Ford Gonna Rock That Han Solo Joint Again

After Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull everyone was down on my main man, Harri-Fo. Not so fast suckers, because El Mayimbe (Spanish for “The Mayimbe”) broke the news today that Ford will return for Star Wars VII. What?! Shiver me timbers and call me Sally the Southern Biscuit, this news has the “Warsians” (why do they call themselves such a weird name?) all in a lather.

Slate has cautioned this might be false info, but they are correct about The Mayimbe’s general veracity. I drank once with that dude and he seemed pretty legit to me. He didn’t order a flavored vodka or anything like that.

There’s not much more to say other than to note that both R2-D2 and C-3PO passed on the project out of “respect for the original work” and “not wanting to be an easy target for South Park“.