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Perhaps no story encapsulates as many of the current trends in studio filmmaking as well today’s news that Phil Collins’ daughter Lily will play Snow White opposite Julia Roberts and Armie Hammer in Tarsem Singh’s Snow White movie (not to be confused, of course, with Kristen Stewart’s Snow White movie, or Channing Tatum’s Peter Pan movie). The decision caps off a season in which the new coolest things are children of celebrities and gritty reboots of fairy tales. It was a move you could practically see coming in the air tonight.
Lily Collins, the daughter of singer Phil Collins whose breakout role came as the daughter of Sandra Bullock’s character in The Blind Side, has been tapped to play the coveted role of Snow White in Relativity Media’s modern retelling of the Brothers Grimm fairy tale, the company said tonight. She joins Armie Hammer as Prince Andrew Alcott and Julia Roberts as the evil queen in the Tarsem Singh-directed feature, which has begun preproduction ahead of a planned May shoot. The film already has a release date: June 29, 2012. That’s before a competing Snow White project — Universal’s Snow White and the Huntsman, which stars Kristen Stewart in the title role alongside Charlize Theron. [Deadline]
This should be good. Lily Collins is a girl that’s been on my mind all the time, and Relativity is one of my favorite su-su-studios. I hope to see this one more night, provided no jacket is required. Yep, Phil Collins jokes. That’s what I’m bringing to the table here.
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Will her eyebrows be playing the dwarfs?
Trey Parker and Matt Stone should just give into the inevitable and put her Oscar up her ass for her in private.
Dina Lohan’s daughter will be cast as Dopey.
On one hand, this sounds pretty crappy.
But on the other hand, Tarsem Singh directed The Fall and that movie was awesome.
I wouldn’t be averse to cumming in her hair tonight.
(*realizes life has been wasted*)
Jaden Smith is trying to get a part in this. He’s in the pursuit of Happy-ness.
Really? Someone wants us to believe her “breakout” role was that of a self-centered-teen-who-then-realizes-she-shouldn’t-be-a-self-centered-teen in a Lifetime Movie of the week Tour De Force? Jesus. I’m living in a land of confusion.
Rihanna as Bashful or GTFO!
In a final showdown the seven dwarfs gangbang the witch or GTFO!
Don’t shit on this trend just yet. If current form holds, I’ll finally soon have my reboots of ‘It’s Pat’ staring Chaz Bono, and a more gritty, urban Sound of Music starring the Pitt-Jolies.
Tarsem said in an interview that he hired her because of her eyebrows and made the makeup people promise not to touch them.
Seriously.
When asked to comment her father, Phil, said, “no reply at all.”
That is one handsome woman.
Jett Travolta as Sleepy or GTFO!
I can’t wait for the lesbian scene where Snow White eats Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter.
*slow clap*
That was for you, Chino.
R. Kelly is holding auditions for his movie, Snow Yellow.
This doesn’t sound like a reboot so much as a genesis story.
* kicks his own ass *
Mike Rutherford’s daughter is a driver for ABA Cab Taxi Service.
I don’t really have an opinion about this film yet. Please, give me one more night.
Julia Roberts was cast as the Evil Witch to save on the makeup budget.
I don’t care anymore.
Meanwhile, James Franco has announced that he will be playing all seven dwarves, along with new eighth dwarf Munchy.
Cameron Douglas as Tweeky, or GTFO.
Charlie Sheen’s “Snow White” is basically just Scarface with Tony Montana growing glorious angel wings and flying away at the end. Don’t miss Sheen’s unique take on the classic “Say hello to my little friend” scene.
Apparently, you don’t stand a chance in Hollywood unless you have stu-stu-studio connections.
I’ve been waiting for this film for forever it seems. Unfortunately, all of my e-mails to the studio have been replied to with “You can’t hurry love”. I guess I’ll just have to wait. :-(
The plot of this Snow White revolves around the Dwarves wanting to live Separate Lives.
My favorite Phil Collins song is Easy Lover – not sure how that fits here.
They say a picture tells a thousand words, and this one’s telling me Phil Collins banged Andre Agassi and men can have babies.
It took me a minute to recall that Gwyneth Paltrow actually named her daughter “Apple.”
It then took me .01 milliseconds to decide that Chino’s comment is the greatest thing I have ever read.
I’ve got nothing. If only they cast Billy Joel’s daughter instead.
Fuck. Just re-read Vince’s post and realized I’ve been standing on his dick this entire time.
Sorry. I’ve been out of the game for a while so I need to work my way back into shape.
This also gives me photographic proof of the orgy that I, Phil Collins, Frida Kahlo, the drummer for R.E.M., and Bert from Sesame Street had back in 1992.
Maybe it’s because I’m used to seeing myself in a mirror every morning, but I honestly didn’t notice she had thick eyebrows until everyone pointed it out.
Yes, Hollywood is certainly the Land of Confusion.
Casting hit a snag when Phil Collins demanded Peter Gabriel be cast as the Evil Queen.
Against all odds, Phil Collins’ daughter cast as Snow White.
So no good looking female in hollywood was available or…..
You think the eyebrows are bad? When she gets a Brazilian, they call it a South American.
With eyebrows like that, I’d like to shock that monkey and
…Damnit