Hollywood says Mexican guy’s film is going to smell

Dimension Films today announced that Spy Kids 4, a film that I can only imagine is about children who are also spies, will be going “4D” with “Aromascope.”  Dear Hollywood.  Scent is a sense, not a dimension.  You’d think you might know that, considering it’s… the name of your studio.  Sigh.

Dimension Films announced today that SPY KIDS: ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD is taking moviegoers to a whole new dimension in 4D with Aromascope.
Director of the highly popular SPY KIDS franchise, Robert Rodriguez, was one of the first to re-introduce audiences to 3D since its inception in the 1950s.
This innovative and celebrated franchise will now be the first to introduce audiences to the new adventure of 4D where they will have 8 special opportunities throughout the movie to access the action interactively through smell.

“Access the action interactively through smell.” Open the kimono and soup to my nuts, at the end of the day, that could be the most overblown, meaningless bullsh*t PR sentence in the history of the written word.

The introduction of scent in the movie going experience adds to the outrageous fun by enhancing the action, adventure and comedy to take you where no film has gone before.

Oops, spoke too soon.

With each individual admission ticket, kids and parents will also receive an Aromascope card that is free of charge with easy to read numbers outlined.  As the numbers flash on the movie screen the audience will rub the corresponding number on their card [wait, where do I get the number I’m supposed to rub on my card?].  When each of the 8 aromas are unleashed you will get to experience a special moment in the film and be transported into scenes in the family adventure film.  This fun added attraction takes the audience beyond sight and sound and into a symphony of scents as the movie is coming to life.

Jesus, was that translated from Japanese? If awful PR writing was one of the seven deadly sins, the killer in Seven would’ve locked this guy in a tiny room and forcefed him curry until he suffocated on his own farts. And that would be justice.