In case you weren’t aware, the Cannes International Film Festival is well under way, with only four days remaining for Tara Reid and her leather wallet to convince people she can memorize a few lines and not blink while she says them. Hell, Rihanna can memorize 68 of them, so why not Tara? But until then the big buzz is surrounding Natalie Portman’s newest project, Jane Got a Gun.
Yep, it’s a Western with a “clever” title, so naturally it’s causing a massive bidding war. I just hope this poorly-titled film doesn’t have a great plot that will be bogged down by people making Aerosmith jokes for the rest of eternity.
Jane Got a Gun centers on a woman whose outlaw husband returns home riddled with bullet wounds and barely alive. When her husband’s gang eventually tracks him down to finish the job, she is forced to reach out to an ex-lover and ask if he will help defend her farm. (Via the Hollywood Reporter)
Damn, that sounds intense. I mean, what did her husband do? What did he put Jane through? Ugh, I can’t even do it.
Anyway, to make up for it, I think what this film really needs is a huge, epic shootout at Jane’s home, as she’s pinned down by two dozen gunmen. Because then, there’s only one way she could survive…
And that Patton Oswalt joke concludes shitty rock music Wednesday. Thanks for stopping by.