Last Week’s Hottest Links With Laremy: Michael Oher Still Hates ‘The Blind Side’

Note: Hi, I’m Laremy, welcome to my old column. Rhetorical question: What will this column be? A collection of links you can read, along with really solid commentary. Most will be movie related, but some will just be good ol’ frisky fun, because we can’t read about movies all the time. Now, I’m not saying this column will change the world, but it will definitely rock it to its core. Let’s get in there!

Michael Oher Admits He Doesn’t Like ‘The Blind Side,’ a Movie Based on His Life – From Bleacher Report

Finally, an NFL player has the courage to “admit” he doesn’t like the movie about himself. I feel for the guy. I mean, left tackle is a volunteer job, isn’t it? And then you’ve got that B Sandra Bullock messing up your life.

Best quote from the article:

“People look at me, and they take things away from me because of a movie. They don’t really see the skills and the kind of player I am. That’s why I get downgraded so much, because of something off the field.”

If I know one thing about NFL coaches it’s that they are major cinephiles. This terrible burden Hollywood has placed upon Michael has been noted. And it won’t be forgotten.

The Mountain from ‘Game of Thrones’ Crushes Stones Circuit at Strongman Event – From Bleacher Report

I want this guy to snuggle me. Unlike whiney Mike up there.

Best quote from the article

Well, none really. The video pretty much speaks for itself. If I were 6-foot-9, 419 pounds I would bully the sh*t out of people. No, like seriously.

Inside the Oldest, Most Exclusive Dance Party in the World – From Rolling Stone

An article about an exclusive dance party? Oh, I’m there. You best believe MY pelvic floor will hit THE floor. I never get fancy, I just get dancy!

Best quote from the article:

If you passed him on the dirt road, you might dismiss him as a simple man with little opportunity for self-expression. You would be very, very wrong.

What historical person does that remind you of? Oh, I don’t know, could it be JESUS?! But really, I never dismiss anyone, especially the simple men.

I am creating the next Facebook and need funding. What steps should I take next? – Quora

I may make the terrible Quora question of the week an actual thing.

Best quote from the article:

So why would ANY respectable investor give you money? WHY?

You could have just said, “NO”.

A whole new Jurassic World – From fxguide

Hey ding-a-ling, not sure if you noticed, but Jurassic World has made almost a billion dollars. Why? Special effects, or as us in the know call them, FX. It’s shorter to say that way, so you can go back to doing special effects. This article is all about dem dino FX.

Best quote from the article:

“The tiger also informed the silhouette of the raptors,” adds McIntosh. “Instead of their heads being held high like the graceful neck on the ostrich which actually goes back as it runs forward, we extended the raptors’ heads forward so they were leaning into the run but also straighter with their tails parallel to the ground to make them feel faster and more streamlined like the tiger.”

This gives me a good idea – a tiger raptor. Get the Toronto NBA team on the line.

Speaking of NBA …

10 Sneakers That Defined the Golden Age of the NBA – From Highsnobiety

If you’re anything like me, you’re a shoe snob. You’re also probably touching yourself. Point being, any time a list about shoes comes out I’m there. I mean, I currently own a pair of Lebron 4s, which everyone laughs at me for. They’ll be cool one day. You’ll see. You’ll all see.

Best quote from the article:

“The patent leather was actually Michael’s idea. He didn’t really know about patent leather necessarily, but he had said he wanted a shoe that was shiny.”

Don’t we all, Mike, don’t we all. It’s nice to have an example of a Mike in this column who isn’t crying about how his movie (Space Jam) made everyone judge him. Even though it totally did.

I once tried to cheat sleep, and for a year I succeeded – From Quartz

Ummmm …

Best quote from the article:

Problems began after 36 hours. I was finding it hard staying awake at night, and Alex wasn’t able to wake up in time after naps despite many alarms.

I’ve read about experiments like this before. Far as I can tell, you need sleep. During the ’96 games in Atlanta I was up for 24 straight hours, but after that I was done. Just had to win my medal and get outta there.

‘Inside Out’ Feels Like It Was Designed To Impress Sensitive Adults – From FilmDrunk

I don’t often slurp the boss, but in this case he’s dead on with his review of Inside Out. The film clearly was meant to appeal to parents who want their kids to be little adults.

Best quote from the article:

It’s like According to Jim, via Pixar.

I liked the premise quite a bit, but for me this idea of “tension” was just really forced. I don’t know, are they gonna lobotomize a kid? LET’S FIND OUT. Whatever. Idiots.

Confirmed: A Founding Avenger Set to Appear in Marvel’s ‘Ant-Man’ – From RopeofSilicon

So this guy is like an Ant? In man form?

Best quote from the article:

Janet Van Dyne is the wife of original Ant-Man Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) and has been a classic Avenger for decades in the comics.

Well there you have it. Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Ben and Laremy Make a Movie and It’s Only Half Terrible – From My Brain

I made a movie.

Best quote from the article:

“This is that movie.”

There are some bad sound parts near the beginning, and the competition is largely one-sided. But you will get to see my nipples and white white belly. For $3 (US) that’s not a bad deal.

‘The Last Ship’ Co-Creators on Season 2: “Finding the Cure Is Really Just the Beginning” – From The Hollywood Reporter

Are you watching The Last Ship on TNT? You really should be. It’s a story about the last ship, an epidemic has taken over the universe. So this last ships tools around and tries to spread the cure. It’s the last ship.

Best quote from the article:

The only time I really worry about it is if I say, “Oh, I have a great idea,” and I say something, and some 25-year-old on the staff says, “Uh, they did that on The Walking Dead.” (Laughs) If that happens, then I go, “Oh, okay, we should do something different, then.”

Those staff meetings sound bomb as hell.

Wax Schwarzenegger surprises fans by coming to life – from CNN

That lovable maid-laying gub’ner played a prank on people who pay money to see wax statues, as if that wasn’t prank enough.

Best quote from the article:

As fans gathered by what they believed to be a chillingly lifelike wax mold of the character, Schwarzenegger jolted to life, sparking bystanders to jump and scream.

Yeah, but what about his wooden acting? Sorry. That one was contractually obligated.

‘Orange Is the New Black’s’ Taylor Schilling injured during sex scene – from CNN

Oh? Do tell. I’M LISTENING.

Best quote from the article:

“I hurt myself,” Schilling said. “I got very excited, I took my shirt off and I scratched myself with my little name tag.”

That’s maybe the least payoff for a headline ever. That’s worse than “Victory in Europe!” On that note, it’s time to get the hell out of here.

That’s all I’ve got for now, you stay sweet.

Laremy is on Twitter and hates having beef with people.