Today brings us the longest trailer yet for Man of Steel, the Zack Snyder-directed, Christopher Nolan-produced Superman movie starring Amy Adams and Henry Cavill, with Russell Crowe and Kevin Costner as Superman’s adopted gay dads. Zack Snyder rightly got a lot of flak after Sucker Punch for his penchant for excessive slow motion and ridiculously over-stylized everything, but now that he’s making a Superman movie and not a weird, thickly-veiled allegory for child rape, all the epic affectations actually seem like they fit. This is… a pretty badass trailer. I kind of want Russell Crowe to narrate my life now. And if Michael Shannon manages to be half as scary as General Zod as he was as that Jew-drowning psychopath on Boardwalk Empire, this is going to be amazing and small children will pee their pants when they see it.
The big twist here (or maybe this was in the comics already, I don’t know or care to look it up) is that the big S on Superman’s chest, as Superman tells us, isn’t an S at all, but a Kryptonian symbol that means “hope.” Which, let’s be honest, does seem a lot less gay than a guy running around in red speedos and a spandex shirt with a big S that stands for “Super!” Either way, I’d go gay for Superman. Jesus he’s handsome.