FilmDrunk

This Week In Posters: The Best Posters Of 2016

Here’s a poster for The Boy, with descriptions in French. The title remains untranslated, oddly. I don’t know what any of those words mean, but the language of “this is a horror movie about a creepy little kid” is universal.

Actually, according to IMDb, it has another twist:

An American nanny is shocked that her new English family’s boy is actually a life-sized doll. After violating a list of strict rules, disturbing events make her believe that the doll is really alive.

Okay, but what would really be creepier here: the idea that the doll is alive, or the idea that a family has a Real Doll designed to look like a young boy?

Oh look, there’s a Stan Lee cameo in the poster. Does that mean we won’t need one in the movie? Please say yes! I’d love to avoid that moment of the “nerds” “nerding out” over the least-nerdy nerd thing ever. Anyway, I still don’t get this poster campaign, but at least there’s a trailer now.

I thought it was Marvel who really hated black SUVs, but Deadpool is a Fox movie, so apparently the phenomenon transcends distributor. Is the SUV industry over-reimbursing for crashed SUVs or something? I can’t turn on the TV without watching a black SUV get in a rollover crash.

It looks like she’s recharging from him through her nose. Also, knowing nothing about the Divergent series, all of their posters look like ads for really dull clothing. “WHAT IF: You were a really hot teen working backstage at the Met Opera for the weekend?”

This guy is perfect, because he looks kind of like at least four different actors, but I don’t know who he is. When black guys say all white people look alike, this is the guy I imagine them picturing.

Twelve guys and one girl, I’ve been to a few parties like that. Also, all my life I’ve wanted to live in a house with a front porch and a lawn chair on the roof, which you think would’ve be a pretty attainable dream. And yet I’ve never been able to make it happen. I blame movies like this for teasing me with things I can’t have.

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