Holy Sh*t. Nic Cage in talks to star in a Left Behind reboot.

In a bizarre collision of the actor Godless hipsters love to love ironically and the religious wingnuts favorite film franchise, Nic Cage, the man who once rode his motorcycle out of hell, is set to lead a group of survivors to

Nicolas Cage is in negotiations to topline “Left Behind,” a mainstream reboot of the Christian-themed movie trilogy that will mark the first film from Stoney Lake Entertainment, a new production company led by Paul Lalonde of faith-oriented banner Cloud Ten Pictures.
The “Left Behind” franchise is based on the series of books written by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins that have sold more than 65 million copies worldwide.
Lalonde will produce the action thriller with Michael Walker, and co-write the script with John Patus, who wrote 2005’s “Left Behind: World at War.”
Project, budgeted in the $15 million range, was shopped at last year’s American Film Market. Production is expected to begin in early spring with an eye toward wide release in the fourth quarter of 2013. Lalonde told Variety that there is a theatrical guarantee in place from distributor Samuel Goldwyn Films.
The Christian-themed “Left Behind” reboot will follow a group of survivors during the first few hours after the Rapture. [Variety]

On an overseas flight to London, journalist Buck Williams and pilor Rayford Steele are caught in the middle of the most incredible event in history, as without warning dozens of passengers have simply vanished! It soons become apparent that this was not an isolated incident and there are millions of people missing. As chaos and anarchy engulf the world, both men set out on different paths in a desperate search for answers. [Original Left Behind Synopsis]

Yikes. The Rapture, of course, is the Biblical event in which all the true believers spontaneously fly up to Heaven while the sinners fight it out on a post-apocalyptic Earth, buttf*cking each other and listening to AC/DC. Well, I guess it’s sort of fitting that Nic Cage star in a cautionary tale. And if anything can turn people off faith-based entertainment, it’s constant, Nic Cage freakout tantrums.

“Crucify him again, Pontius! His soul is still dancing.”