You wake up. Your teenage kid is a 29-year-old cashier at Best Buy. He/she listens to really cool, really heavy metal bands like Slayer, Nile, and One Direction. 1D is a five-man hardcore piece straight outta the grittiest knocks the UK has to offer. Glenn Danzig discovered them on the X-Factor, that show where the world’s most extreme punks rock out to out-shock the world. Chaos reigns. One Direction shreds. Blood pours from the sky and your grandson’s name is Larry Stylinson. This… is the twilight zone.
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The Morning Links
The Singularity is Hilarious: Some Words about ‘Her’ |FilmDrunk|
Drunk Neil Patrick Harris is the Best Neil Patrick Harris |UPROXX|
BREAKING NEWS: Cat in a Bag |UPROXX Video|
Trailer for Louis C.K.’s Upcoming Black & White Film He Made in 1998 |Warming Glow|
This Guy is Pretty Serious about His Lat Workouts |With Leather|
The B-Movies of 2014: A Gamma Squad Preview |Gamma Squad|
The Seahawks are Serving a Marshawn Lynch Burger with a Side of Skittles |Kissing Suzy Kolber|
Common – “War” |Smoking Section|
Carrie Brownstein hints at Sleater-Kinney reunion |death&taxes|
There are Still Problems with Academy Award Voting |Videogum|
7 Google Secrets You Need to See |BuzzFeed|
Everything You Need to Know to Start Watching the Pulse-Poundingest, Heartbreakingest Show on Television |Pajiba|
Farrah Abraham’s Fake Boyfriend Had a Real Girlfriend This Whole Time |The Superficial|
Michael Bay is Great Without a Teleprompter |IDLYITW|
9 Best Movies with Nude Scenes from the VHS Era |BroBible|
Planet Fitness Removes Squat Racks for Being ‘Intimidating’ Because We’re Such Pussies in America |Guyism|
Quality Graffiti Art |The Chive|
78 Famous People with Eating Disorders |Ranker| :