Pakistani Action Movie: Flying Korans Kill Salman Rushdie with Lasers

If only Danger Guerrero had been around Pakistan in the late 80s, we might be reading a Scene Breakdown of International Guerillas, a forgotten action film recently remembered by EverythingIsTerrible (doing the lord’s work as always). Old-school religion, cutting edge (for 1989) production values, and a torn-from-the-headlines plot combine in this cult favorite, a combination Kirk Cameron would later exploit in the film where he beat up his computer for showing him porn. Ahh, how far we’ve come.

Shortly after Ayatollah Khomeini issued a fatwā against Salman Rushdie for writing The Satanic Verses, Pakistani filmmakers punched out International Guerillas, a deranged exploitation flick starring a faux-Rushdie as a blasphemous crime lord.
In the film, Rushdie [whom I too hate, but only because he used to bang Padma -Ed] dwells on an island fortress, scheming with the Israeli military [Of course] to corrupt pious Muslims with casinos and discotheques. After the film’s trio of protagonists sneak on to the author’s headquarters with Batman costumes, a group of floating Korans inexplicably fly down from the sky and annihilate Rushdie with lasers and/or lighting bolts.[I09]

As if that could get any better, when the flying Korans (which look curiously like X-Wing fighters from Star Wars) begin shooting their Allahu Akbar bolts at faux-Rushdie, they make those old-timey ricochet sound effects from old westerns. PEW! PANG! PIKUUU! I like it. I wouldn’t have been so hard on Islam if I’d known how deeply it was influenced by Batman (Robin is his prophet?). They should try to publicize that more. Maybe emphasize the Batman angle and go lighter on the burkas and teetotaling. Just spitballin’ here.

At the end they’re supposedly doing religious chanting, but all I could hear was “Kill the pig! Cut her throat! Spill her blood!”

It’s ironic because pork is forbidden.