Over the weekend, actress Daniele Watts, who played Coco in Django Unchained (one of the house maids at Calvin Candie’s Candyland, I believe), was detained by the LA police, who showed up after Watts was making out with her boyfriend in a parked car and people in a nearby office called the police. Police reportedly showed up demanding to see identification. Watts’ boyfriend, Brian James Lucas, provided his, while Watts balked and police handcuffed her, leading to the shouty scene on the sidewalk which eventually made the news.
By now you should be well acquainted with the pattern by which these things play out. Police aggressively investigate ticky tack street crime. Subject gets indignant, leading to a “scene.” News hits of arrest, along with allegations of police overreach. We got through that part over the weekend. We’ve now reached the next stage, the counter-narrative in which news outlets leak details of the detainee’s moral crimes as tacit justification for police tactics. I wonder if TMZ thought about Michael Brown’s alleged cigar robbery when they ran with this “After Car Sex SHE PULLS RACE, FAME CARD (POLICE AUDIO)” headline.
So that’s the counter-narrative in a nutshell, Daniele Watts was allegedly HAVING CAR SEX (*gasp*) precipitating the police call, and then acted like a brat after they got there, excusing all the handcuffing and what not.
Daniele Watts had just left CBS studios in the San Fernando Valley around 2 PM Thursday. She says she was making out with her BF, but we’ve learned witnesses from the nearby Directors Guild office building told cops they were watching her and her BF have full-on sex in the passenger seat WITH THE DOOR OPEN!
Ah, so the news outlet that hangs out outside restaurants and nightclubs trying to goad celebrities into saying homophobic things is suddenly pearl clutching over sex? Perfect.
The eyewitnesses said the guy was sitting in the seat, she was straddling him and it was for everyone to see. One eyewitness told cops they cleaned themselves up afterward with a tissue.
Yes, but what did the tissue smell like?? Was it sort of bleachy, with an acidic asparagus twang, or was he a good boyfriend who was drinking pineapple juice all day to make sure his jisms were sweet and aroma neutral? Inquiring readers want to know!
TMZ obtained police audio of the incident. Watts instantly plays the race card when Sgt. Jim Parker asked for her ID. She quickly moves from the race card to the fame card — then storms off, refusing to show her ID.
Luckily they have a hysterical black woman, and a hysterical spoiled black woman at that, to blame this whole incident on, because it’s a nice distraction from the inherent sh*ttiness of how this policing strategy works. Police show up investigating some minor crime on shaky evidence, and ask for ID. They’re hoping someone has an outstanding warrant so they can arrest on the spot. Or for the suspect to flee or refuse to show ID, which they can then use as cause to arrest for resisting or obstruction. It’s just the sort of win-win strategy you need if you’re going to have the world’s highest incarceration rate. At some point, we should probably have a conversation about whether this is something we actually want, but hey, why bother with that when there are psuedo-celebrity’s jizz rags to smell! Kudos to TMZ for becoming the invisible, jizz-covered hand of the status quo.