The Best Quotes from Positive Reviews of Adam Sandler's That's My Boy

I was originally going to do a post about the worst reviews of Adam Sandler’s new movie, That’s My Boy, which opens today, and there was a lot to choose from. I especially liked this chunk from FilmSchoolRejects:

That’s My Boy is, simply put, revolting. It’s so over-the-top revolting that, if it were all just a bit tighter, cleaner, and smarter, a case could be made that the film is actually a send-up of other Sandler films or some sort of black-as-night twisted comedy
The film features such been-there-done-that bits as “these people are preppy, so here is a bunch of plaid,” “this stripper is overweight and also older so let us laugh at her,” “here is Adam Sandler jerking off to someone’s grandma – and she’s totally into it!,” “spit takes that lead to someone trying to dry someone else’s shirt and rubbing their boobs instead,” and “guy slides off hood of car.”

Zee hatred, she is magnifique! But the longer I slogged through all the negative reviews, the more I thought, what’s so interesting about people being disgusted with a film that’s intentionally disgusting? It’s sort of like seeing that Dr. Pepper Ten commercial that ends with “It’s not for women!” and saying, “OMG, that’s so sexist!”, isn’t it? Yeah, genius analysis there, Poindexter. Anyway, I thought it might be much more interesting to take look a at the positive reviews (the 23%, according to RottenTomatoes), and long story short, I was not disappointed. So here they are, my favorite quotes from “fresh” reviews of That’s My Boy.

The funniest movie Adam Sandler has made since 50 First Dates. -Willie Waffle

For some reason, Adam Sandler’s latest seems less annoying than usual. –CombustibleCelluloid

Of course, it’s no Punch Drunk Love, but you gotta pay the bills somehow. I get it. Grae Drake,

I wouldn’t dare recommend “That’s My Boy” to the average filmgoer. It’s reserved for Sandler fans who’ve come to expect a certain velocity of stupidity from their doofus king. –

Oh that is just fantastic. By the way, I think “The Velocity of Stupidity” could double as the title of Michael Bay’s memoirs.

Sandler, make no mistake, doesn’t phone it in. He delivers every single line with the unspeakably annoying rasp of a rusty nail scraping on your brainpan. -Owen Gleiberman, EW.

If Sandler changed his name to Nicole Holofcener, you’d be reading kinder reviews. –TimeOutChicago.

Uh… what?

[I’m] the kind who needs Adam Sandler to keep making deplorable garbage like this. I will watch it and I will enjoy myself and I will have no excuse for it and I will remain un-sorry.

The film gleefully celebrates statutory rape. That might be a deal-breaker for you, comedically speaking. It also celebrates child neglect, drunken violence, three-ways with Grandma and Vanilla Ice (co-starring as himself), shooting people at point blank range with shotguns and pouring orange juice up the nose of a 300-lb. stripper who is simultaneously hanging upside down on the pole while eating a plate of bacon and eggs. -Dave White,

You guys… did they just convince me that I should see the latest Adam Sandler movie? …Hold me.